We Want To Hear From Someone Who Will Prepare And Eat A Ham Banana Roll

Today the Internet revealed a recipe from a bygone era, one where combining fruit, meat, cheese and mustard got people drooling and set stomachs to rumbling. But since reading the instructions on how to concoct your own Ham Banana Rolls is having the opposite effect on my innards (translation: guts are coiling back up into themselves) we’ve got to wonder if any of you brave souls would like to take this recipe on.

In the old advertisement/handy recipe offered by the United Fruit Company, Chiquita Bananas get a makeover that we can only surmise reflected the popular tastes of the time. Either that or the creators flipped through a book of foods, chose four at random and just kinda went with it.

Gird your stomachs, folks.

Gird your stomachs, folks.

If you can’t read the recipe, we’ve copied it below for your culinary pleasure. And please, if anyone is brave enough to create and eat this terrifying banana concoction, send us a line and a photo of the evidence at tips@consumerist.com.

How to make “Ham Banana Rolls”
6 thin slices boiled ham
Prepared mustard (it must be ready to do what it’s about to do to those bananas)
6 firm bananas, peeled
Cheese Sauce

Spread each slice of ham lightly with mustard. Wrap a slice of the prepared ham around each banana. Place in a buttered shallow baking dish and pour Cheese Sauce over bananas. Bake in a moderate oven (350 degrees Fahrenheit) 30 minutes or until bananas are tender… easily pierced with a fork. Six servings. Serve with Cheese Sauce from the baking dish poured over each roll.

How to make a CHEESE SAUCE (because ham, bananas and mustard isn’t a gross enough combination on its own)
1 1/2 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 tablespoons flour
3/4 cup milk
1 1/2 cups grated American cheese (How do you grate American cheese? Shudder).

Melt butter, add flour and stir until smooth. Stir in milk slowly. Add cheese and cook, stirring constantly until sauce is smooth and thickened. Makes about 1 cup sauce.

Then go ahead and douse those bananas in cheese, folks! It had to have made sense to someone, sometime. We’re just not sure who this person with a stomach of steel was or what he or she was trying to accomplish.

*Thanks to Brian for posting this on Facebook!