9 Things We Can Never Unhear From Customer’s Dunkin’ Donuts Receipt Rant

This poor guy got an earful.

This poor guy got an earful.

Set your cringe muscles on “active” and stick in those earbuds, because we’re about to steer you into a very NSFW 8-minute video journey into the land of Consumers Behaving Badly. Just to remind you all once again, that there’s a whole lot of language in here that is not meant for polite company — including racial slurs toward the very end — so view with caution.

The situation, as best as we can figure out, is that the customer in question rolled through a Dunkin’ Donuts the night previous to filming this video and didn’t get a receipt from the server.

When she asked for her order to be free as a result, which is a DD policy, she claims that the woman said she could get her free order the next day. That set off quite a vitriolic response, as the customer returned to the location with her camera and warned the cashier that “this is all being under video surveillance by the way.”

During her extended rant (posted on News 11’s YouTube) she goes from being pissed off, to somewhat nice to the cashier, to conversational with the man standing in line behind her (who probably just wants to get his coffee and get outta there), back to extremely ticked off and insulting. Killing’em with kindness is definitely not something at work here.

Herewith, then, some quotes to be logged into the annals of This Is Not How You Treat People. We will never unhear them:

1. “I want the whole f*****g menu, bitch, TWICE.”

2. “A guarantee is a guarantee — I’ve already called my lawyer and he’s already on it… Because when it says if you don’t get a receipt, you get your order free, it f****n’ means it, right? Or is it a lie? Because this is all being f****ng recorded.”

3. After being told she could order exactly what she had yesterday and get it for free: “Okay, I want a strawberry Coolata.” Worker: “Did you have a strawberry Cooolata yesterday?” Customer: “No. There were a bunch of us in the car yesterday. If I get exactly what I ordered yesterday it’s gonna be a s**t ton more.”

4. “Hi, Facebook, this is what you have to do in life, it f****n’ sucks, blow my brains out.”

5. “I’ve literally thought this was the best one in the city and I gave you guys like so many good remarks online because I have a business degree.”

6. “I’m going tomorrow and I’m going to nuke this place up. I’ve already posted this on Facebook too… And I’m going to take off and watch this place explode… How do you feel about that?” [Random guy in line responds]: “It’s your own issue, I have my own issues.”

7. Regarding the order being free guarantee: “S**t pissed me off like that. Just wanted my order. I just want my bacon to be crispy and my people to be nice…. There are no takebacks in life.”

8. “I’m from Indiana and Kentucky and up there this s**t doesn’t happen… I’m going to Mars where I don’t have to deal with it. It’s a one-way flight.”

9. Regarding her new order being prepared, and her certainty that it’s going to be nasty: “Even if they hock a loogie and s**t in it, I don’t even care…. One time they pissed in my fries right in front of my mouth. Literally, I could smell the piss in it…. That’s why I’m not eating this food and I’m giving it to my boyfriend.”

One thing we can’t figure out is whether or not she can’t wait to post this to Facebook.

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