It’s a new year, and you know what that means: We all make promises to ourselves that we probably won’t keep (although I swear I’m going to start my own organic dairy farm someday and have a bestselling cheese brand) or will at least give up on early in February. But hey, you, the one without a toothbrush who hasn’t figured out soap yet — Walmart is here for you.
Signs posted on bins bearing images of soap, deodorant and body wash on one and toothpaste, a toothbrush and dental floss feature this reassuring copy: “We’re making resolutions easier to keep.”
Because if I can’t find a toothbrush anywhere to try that crazy new fad out, now I know where to go. And if my resolution is to not waft along on an unfortunate breeze of body odor, help is at hand. Who else feels comforted?
Resolutions That Lower The Bar [Mocking Words]