Skurk32 bought a new HP laptop in February. So he’s been spending five months enthralled with his new computer, right? Um, not exactly. He’s experienced a series of problems, large and small, with the new computer, that range from the color red displaying as orange (weird) to the machine overheating while idling (dangerous.) HP chooses to acknowledge some of these as problems, but not the ones that are actually important.

Of course, while Skurk32 has been dealing with these problems, HP refreshed the entire series of computers. HP could send him a new computer that has none of these small, wacky issues, or… no, wait, this is HP we’re talking about. They would never do that.

He writes;

Bought an Envy 15 in Feb. It couldn’t display red properly (was orange instead) so I got a replacement from HP. Same issue. I asked for a solution, they said an envy 17 would be OK since it uses a different type of monitor. Sure.

Got the 17, Turned out the DVD drive isn’t spitting CD’s back out (and that the back of the case is unhinged and won’t click down). Talk to support, he says he’ll call me in 3 days. 3 weeks pass- he calls back and says that now it’s too late to return the laptop, but I can send it in for service to fix my dvd drive. I point out how the laptop jumps to 70*C when idling (I don’t have anything intensive running) and how the case is also messed up. He says I can’t do anything about it/ deal with it.

Keep in mind, last month HP released a refresh to the Envy series. So at this point I’m semi-raging about how I paid for a laptop in Feb, and still don’t have a working unit. They want me to send this back (goodbye for a few weeks, internet).

I ask if I can get a replacement and they say only if they find the issue I’m talking about and can’t fix it. HP being HP, I’m sure they’ll half-ass it or just lie about the situation- saying there’s nothing wrong. So my question- What should I do?

TL-DR; Was getting laptops with issues since FEB, now HP says it’s too late for a refund, and they won’t even move me up to a new model that was released two months after I bought a defective unit (which should run cooler, as heat is an issue). Currently having issues with the laptop. Might get a replacement if they find an issue they can’t fix.
Halp.

/end

They haven’t replied to ANY emails (although I know for a fact they get them – I asked). My case manager(s) won’t let me speak to anyone higher up, including their supervisors. They want me to send the unit back tomorrow- so as unrealistic as it is, I’m hoping for an answer around tomorrow.. :

BONUS: When I said that they called me back in 3 weeks, I believe they did so just so I’d run out of the time to return the unit. Last time I talked to them before that, I asked for a return, and they said it’d still be possible.

In the past, readers have found HP receptive to the explosive charms of the executive e-mail carpet bomb. And in the case of computers that have become virtual doorstops, HP does find small claims court filings quite moving.

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