That Voice Telling You Not To Drink & Drive Is Coming From Inside The Urinal

No, you’re not hearing things in the men’s bathroom. Something is speaking to you, reminding you that if you’re sauced in the state of Michigan, you should definitely call a cab or a friend instead of taking to the road. Some counties in the state are trying use talking urinal-deodorizer cakes to keep drunk drivers off the road.

The state has distributed talking cakes to the members of Michigan Licensed Beverage Association in four counties. A recorded message plays when men step up to the urinal, issuing the friendly reminder to get home safetly.

It’s all part of a statewide Fourth of July education and enforcement effort, that will kick off at a Detroit pub on Monday. A federally funded drunken driving crackdown will be running through July 8 in the state, which includes stepping up patrols in 26 counties.

And while this isn’t the first time talking urinal cakes have been used in the country for similar reasons, according to the Associated Press, it’s sure as heck the first time we’ve heard of such a thing. Drive safely, everyone, lest those cake orations be in vain.

Michigan using talking urinal cakes in DUI fight [Newsday]


Edit Your Comment

  1. nugatory says:

    I can foresee some problems with this. All we need is some drunk to freak out mid-stream that the urinal is talking to him….

  2. Princess Beech loves a warm cup of treason every morning says:

    I don’t know ’bout you, but if I hear a cakes talking to me, I’d be freaked.

    “Say, Bill. Would you rub some of this powder on my lips?”

  3. BMR777 says:

    This could be the new DUI test. If you’re sober enough to consistently hit the urinal cake then you’re sober enough to drive. Right?

  4. Stickdude says:

    To listen to this message in English, please aim left.

    Para escuchar este mensaje en español, por favor, tienen por objeto la derecha

  5. TuxMan says:

    After a DUI I thought about how the local government and business want to cash in not prevent.

    As a server I had to be licensed to serve alcohol and part of this was knowing the limits. In reality this was never upheld by the establishment or by the government.

    • JJFIII says:

      By law, it MUST be upheld by the establishment in Michigan. If a server or waiter deems somebody too drunk to be served, they can not be served. An establishment would be in violation if they went ahead and served somebody. The lawsuit potential on that is HUGE.

  6. Fubish says: I don't know anything about it, but it seems to me... says:

    What a relief! All that time I thought it was because of that cheap whiskey.

  7. frankrizzo:You're locked up in here with me. says:

    For a minute I thought that was a picture of Gary Busey smiling.

  8. StatusfriedCrustomer says:

    Just what I need, more noise in the bathroom when I’m sitting in the toilet stall trying to concentrate.

  9. frank64 says:

    It is only for men. That is discrimination! I think the state should be forced to go through the expense of designing a system that woman can use, or take these out.

    • frank64 says:

      Also that handicapped can’t use the urinals, so it will be an american disabilities act violation.

      • shepd says:

        The disabled washroom in a previous building I worked in had grab handles to the left and right of the urinals. There was also a disabled stall for wheelchairs. Which wouldn’t be so odd, except this was on the second floor of a freshly renovated building with no elevator.

      • Galium says:

        Blind people can use urinals, just make sure you leave the urinal before they get there.

    • SimonJ says:

      It’s fine here in Aus, on our Cop show I have men booked for DUI sitting next to their sober wife who can drive but “they thought they’d be alright to drive” lol
      So it seems at least some of the people are hitting their target! :)

  10. DrLumen says:

    Cake: “Pleae drive carfeully and don’t drive drunk.”
    Patron: “Piss on that!”

  11. dangermike says:

    Well… that’s not the worst advice I’ve gotten from a urinal cake…

  12. dicobalt says:

    *hic* immm nOTT drunnnnk! i kannn driiiiii .. i *puke*

    … and that was what will happen in real life.

  13. DemosCat says:

    Doesn’t everyone hear the urinals talking? I call it Son of Sanitizer.

  14. phsiii says:

    And here I thought the cakes had alcohol sensors, so they were saying something *meaningful*: “Dude, you’re pissing 0.08, time to take a cab!”

  15. frodolives35 says:

    I know the last time the toilet started talking to me I called for a ride, Later I was told it was the guy sitting down and not the toilet. Just kidding lol

  16. metzb22 says:

    99 percent of us don’t drive drunk, yet will be forced to listen to this as we relieve ourselves because of the 1 percent who do. At least we can take pleasure in urinating on the source of the redundant moral lesson.

  17. Martin says:

    Elevators in parking garages, like the keys on drive-up ATM’s, are marked in Braille for two reasons. First, bureaucrats are morons. Second, so that the elevator company and the ATM manufacturer can make a single design wherever they put their products. It isn’t only the latter that spawns the otherwise nonsensical practice of putting Braille where blind people are unlikely to go, it’s also the former. This is why there is a sign in Braille at the customer’s door at the repair shop which services my car. Houston motorists are not blind, they just drive like it, but ADA and OSHA enforcers can see and can fine.

  18. Press1forDialTone says:

    Urinals themselves are absurd. Invented by men to allow them to compare dicks so
    they know who to bully.

    • RenegadePlatypus says:

      People get bullied for dick size? AND you see urinals as a place to compare dicks? Both of these observations you have made tell us more about you than about urinals.

    • Rexy on a rampage says:

      Men’s public bathroom rule #1: Always stare straight ahead. Looking to the side to view other males is expressly prohibited.

      Urinals are certainly not a dick measuring fest.

  19. MarielainaPerroneDDS says:

    This is hilarious. Reminds of that video game they have in Japan that involves your peeing into the urinal to play….heres a link to it

  20. corridor7f says:

    Once you break the seal, I can see that getting REALLY annoying.