Haven’t You Always Wanted A Giant Floating Panty Liner?

At the pool, no one wants to be reminded of the time of the month that women worldwide bitterly refer to as “Shark Week.” So it caught Amanda’s attention when she noticed this light-colored pool toy with gentle curves on the outside. It would be nice to float on in the pool while lounging, waiting for your sunscreen to dry so you don’t catch fire. Oh, and it looks like a giant feminine hygiene product.

Amanda spotted this item in a Sam’s Club in upstate New York, where sample pool products dangle above customers’ heads. “We were perusing the aisles, only to look up in the seasonal section and see a pool float that looks more like a huge version of a personal care item,” she wrote. “For a female giant, perhaps.”


UPDATE: Thanks to alert reader El_Cheapocabra who found this item on the Sam’s Club site (which didn’t occur to me while writing this post for some reason.) Doesn’t the model look thrilled?


It’s a male model, of course, because all of the female models were laughing too hard to be photographed when they saw the product.


Edit Your Comment

  1. Here to ruin your groove says:

    All panty liners should include a headrest.

  2. Stickdude says:

    Thanks, Laura.

    I will now have that image seared into my consciousness the rest of the day…

  3. MutantMonkey says:

    I’m just glad the blue accents are not red.

  4. RandomLetters says:

    No I don’t think I have Laura.

  5. Coffee says:

    Do they have a deluxe model with wings? I’ll take that.

  6. Jules Noctambule says:

    Wear a red swimsuit for maximum effect.

  7. Tim says:

    Damnit, I spilled my Hawaiin punch all over it.

  8. El_Cheapocabra says:


    It’s soft, durable, and antimicrobial! Bonus points for the awkward “Can I go now?” look on the male model’s face.

    As Jules and Coffee said, gotta wear a red swimsuit and use some gauze tape to make wings. Then you’re all set for the family picnic. Your cousin’s coming-out announcement will go “swimmingly” after that.

  9. dush says:

    If this is ultra absorbant that would really be a problem.

  10. CrazyEyed says:

    Wouldn’t it be funny if the blue swirly accents were actually red

  11. frankrizzo:You're locked up in here with me. says:

    I have to admit, this made my day.

  12. GenXCub says:

    I have a theory. The commercials are always pouring blue liquid on these things. I think the fact that they colored this blue immediately brought ‘maxi pad’ to mind. If it was solid black or green, I wonder if it would have gone unnoticed.

  13. HogwartsProfessor says:

    That totally made me LOL. Thanks for the laugh.

  14. scoosdad says:

    I have a friend who deals with factories in China who make their specialty products and has to get on the phone all the time with them to work out the design issues. I think the conversation on this one went something like this:

    China: I think I understand how you want this designed, but I really need to see some kind of example or model to go by.

    Designer in US: Hmm, wait a minute. I have something right here we can send you to go by. It’s just the general shape we’re looking for, and not the details of this.

    And that’s when a sudden burst of static on the line blocked out most of the last sentence. One containerload shipment later….

  15. shthar says:

    Did they say inches or feet?

    I think it was feet.

    Really? ok.

  16. gman863 says:

    Pour a can or two of V8 juice on it before you toss it in the pool and it’ll be the Attack of the 50 Foot Woman version of the Baby Ruth bar in Caddyshack.

  17. Press1forDialTone says:

    The male model is gay and is totally in on the joke.

  18. Clyde Barrow says:

    Will it expand ten times its size to hold 40 people in case your ship goes down?