Melissa is funny in that when she does her shopping online and picks something out, she expects that item to be delivered in a timely manner. Weird, right? That doesn’t mean that if she receives the wrong item, she’ll want to keep it instead of getting what she ordered, but Target doesn’t seem to understand that.

She says she ordered some Neutrogena foundation on sale from Target, and instead received the brand’s oil blotting sheets. For those unfamiliar with female cosmetics, those are two very different things, even if they are both used on the face. So Melissa took action.

I called, and after a 20 minute phone call while the associate fumbled over my options, was told that a new item would be shipped to me and I should use a return label, which would be emailed to me, to return the incorrect item to target. I got the confirmation information for the replacement item, and it listed a delivery date of March 5 – fully one month after my original February 4th order. I called back and said that was an unacceptable delay, and after 30 minutes on the phone with two associates have been told to keep the original item, expect a refund for the correct item, and accept a $5 payment as compensation for my time.

I do not want Target’s $5 and I do not want to keep the incorrect item – but apparently Target DOES NOT ship replacement items when they send you wrong product. In fact, the supervisor I spoke with this evening told me that I should not have been offered a replacement product.

How can a replacement product not be offered when it really isn’t replacing anything — it’s just actually fulfilling the order correctly?

Silly Melissa, perhaps it’s time to just order wrong item at first and hope the right one shows up instead. Because that would make as much sense as Target’s policy of not replacing incorrect items.

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