If you don’t like air travel, one way to prepare for a five-and-a-half hour flight is to consume an alcoholic beverage or two. Or eight. But plan ahead, and make sure to use the bathroom before the situation becomes dire and you have to relieve yourself in the cabin without noticing that a child’s leg is in your jetstream.

An 18-year-old Vermont man stumbled from his seat five rows back and told police, “I was drunk, and I did not realize I was pissing on her leg.” Because that makes urinating in the aisle so much more acceptable. He claimed to have consumed eight alcoholic beverages before the flight, and flight attendants detained him at the back of the plane. After the flight, he was taken into custody and issued a federal summons for indecent exposure before being released.

During this Redeye From Hell that flew from Portland, Oregon to New York’s JFK Airport yesterday, another passenger experienced chest pains, apparently unrelated to the urination mishap.

‘Drunk’ man pees on 11 year old on JetBlue flight [New York Post] (Thanks, JS!)

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