Here’s a retro Kool-Aid commercial from a simpler time. Back when the Kool-Aid man was just a jug with a condensation face that talked. No busting through walls. he just chilled there like a good friendly value sitting on a table. Children and adults just whistled at one another to signify that it was Kool-Aid time. And mothers spoke very precisely and articulately. Ahhh.

Transcript begin:

Boy whistles
Kid whistles back and joins
Boy whistles
Another kid whistles and joins

Group whistles together
Mom whistles.

Kool-Aid, Kool Aid, a five cent package makes two quart tubs.
Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid, nine great flavors, the drink you love
Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid, Oh the very best drink you ever made
Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid, be sure that the envelope says – whistle – Kool-Aid!
You can give your youngsters a lot of pleasure with Kool-Aid. You know it’s pure and good – it has the Parents Magazine seal.
And it’s so thrifty! A five cent package makes two full quarts.
Just add Kool-Aid to water with ice, add some sugar, and stir.
For the very best drink you ever made.
Be sure that the envelope says – whistle – Kool-Aid!

End transcript.

There’s a lot of things going on this ad. At its root it’s a very simple “me too” commercial that shows everyone joining in and enjoying the product. Then you have the essential benefit pitch – for just five cents you can make two quarts of flavor that kids love to drink. And kids love anything anthropomorphic and animated, so that explains the yakking carafe.

Then there’s the official endorsement. Here’s where it gets tricky. Supposedly you can trust this product because it has the “Parents Magazine Seal.” However, the magazine was later sanctioned by the FTC in 1965 for “false, misleading and deceptive” practices because the seal of approval was not awarded solely based on independent expert and technical evaluations. Moreover, an advertising contract between the recipient and Parents Magazine was a condition for it being awarded.

Ah, simpler times, when the American consumer had no idea this kind of crap was going on.

“Just add Kool-Aid to water with ice, add some sugar, and stir. Whistle! Kool-Aid!”

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