Where did Emily’s Fedex package run off to? It took more than a year to make the trip from New York City to Washington, DC, traveling at a rate of about half a mile per day. How does that happen? We like to imagine a massive fleet of turtles that are tasked with the important job of transporting gifts up and down the eastern seaboard.

I think Fed Ex may have reverted to the pony express. On January 22nd, 2010, I mailed a wedding gift to two of my best friends from college who had gotten married that October. At the time, they lived outside DC and I lived in New York City- not a terribly long trip. I sent it via Fed Ex through my office account. I work for a large company, and we do a boatload of business with Fed Ex. Anyway, imagine my surprise when it shows up in my office last week as “undeliverable’! That’s right, more than a year after I had sent it, here it was again. Now, my friends moved since I sent the package, but not until last July, which gave Fed Ex 6 whole months to deliver the package before they moved.

My company has since switched to UPS, so I once again sent it out, fingers crossed. I got a text message from my friend yesterday “I just got your wedding present. I almost died laughing.” Did I mention that it’s an electric blanket? And that it arrived on the first 50 degree day of Spring? I’m just glad it wasn’t a cheese of the month club or something.

Federal Express etiquette guideline: as long as the gift arrives as long as the couple is still married, you’re cool.

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