Man Throws Dead Squirrel Through Drive-In

A 26-year old Illinois man faces a misdemeanor charge for disorderly conduct after chucking a dead squirrel through a drive-through window in a macabre prank this weekend.

The attendant told police that after he received his order he asked for “extra nuts” for his pet squirrel, which he was petting before her eyes. According to a report, she said “That squirrel is not real,” whereupon he replied, “Yes it is” and threw it through the window. The dead animal then caromed off a ledge and landed on the food establishment’s floor.

Remember folks, be nice to the people at the drive-in. They control what goes in your food.

Pekinite allegedly chucks dead squirrel into drive-through [PJStar] (Thanks to Michael!)


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  1. Darrone says:

    Jokes on your, our patties are already 20% squirrel meat.

  2. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    Points to Ben for using ‘caromed’ instead of ‘ricocheted’ :3

    – – –

    Even after all’s said and done, the squirrel’s probably better eating than the meat in a McDonald’s sandwich.

    • osiris73 says:

      I dunno… why is the blended meat of 10,000 cows in a McD’s hamburger a bad thing? If marketing types can convince people that whiskey from 10,000 different barrels blended together is a good thing, why not beef?

  3. danmac says:

    Thank you, Ben…now this is the kind of story I want to read about on Monday morning. It’s unfortunate that the drive-thru operator didn’t know that it was a flying squirrel.

  4. Angus99 says:

    I love how the article refers to him as a “Pekinite” throughout. I’m assuming it’s his town, but it sounds like some strange cult or perverted practice. “Let me introduce you to Bob – he’s a Pekinite!”

  5. pecan 3.14159265 says:

    I admit, I’m more upset at the idea that the idiot’s friend might have killed the squirrel. But on the whole, ew. Are the people of Preoria, Illinois more attuned to the wilderness that they’re comfortable (or demented enough) to touch dead animals? I mean, the article says he was petting it? And the fast food employee picked it up to take it outside? I wouldn’t touch a dead animal.

    • Gramin says:

      Yes, they are. There are two things in Peoria: CAT and farms.

      • DrMonkeyPhD says:

        …and a casino.

        • Gramin says:

          Ah yes! The boat… the boat that doesn’t actually do anything but stay docked. Supposedly they have a great buffet. However, I’m quite certain that their definition of great food is vastly different from mine. Since moving to Chicago from Pekin, I can say that my appreciation for good food has evolved greatly.

          • charrr says:

            yes, they do indeed have a great buffet. But yeah, Peoria is pretty much CAT, lots of farmland around it, and Pekin.

    • parabolic says:

      Yes, all of us Peorians should be judged by this one man. Since it is non-Chicago Illinois, we are nothing but backwards hick farmers here.

  6. Gramin says:

    OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! That’s my hometown… I’m ashamed to be a Pekinite. From here on out, I’m a Chicagoan. Wow, just wow…

    • IT-Princess: I work in IT, you owe me $1 says:

      I’m ashamed it’s simply Illinois, I’m up north though. Up here people just get spit on, punched, or shot. Dead squirrels are crossing the line.

    • RvLeshrac says:

      Or you could be an American.

  7. Hoss says:

    Misdemeanor disorderly conduct? He threw a dead rodent into a food prep area. .

  8. FireJayPa says:

    I laughed out loud and my co-workers now know that I’m totally crazy.

  9. Spiro_Agnew says:

    They should have yelled out, “Here’s your change!”, as they threw out a couple of dead mice out the drive through window.

  10. Clyde Barrow says:

    It had to have been a recently dead squirrel. I found one on my lawn last summer on a Friday which wasn’t there the night before. I left it and when I returned to my home on Sunday, it was rank,,and I mean bad. I have a backyard that extends 100 ft and it was near the back fence and it smelled throughout the entire yard. Not easy getting it into a garbage bag.

  11. VOIDMunashii says:

    I guess it’s better than molten creamed spinach to the face… but not much.

  12. Warren - aka The Piddler on the Roof says:

    Poor, poor Rocky. We shall mourn thee.

    • A.Mercer says:

      Hey Rocky! Watch me order something in the drivethrue.

      Nothing in my cranium.

      And Presto!

      A flying squirrel!

  13. Me - now with more humidity says:

    When I read the headline, I wasn;t sure whether the squirrel was thrown in the window… or out.

  14. Nobby says:

    I bet the workers were frightened to see a squirrel. Now if he had thrown a rat they would have just thought the poison was working as advertised.

  15. INsano says:

    Pretty loose usage of the word “man”.

  16. dangermike says:

    I’d have been far more amused if it had been a live squirrel.

  17. gman863 says:

    If it had been Sonic, it could have been revenge for not getting the free hooker after his last visit.

  18. kross10c says:

    one night a drunken friend and I went through Krystals drive-thru just before midnight. he said i want some F-ing french fries (he used the full word).the drive-thru lady replied we don’t sell any F-ing french fries (again she used the full word). ever since then I can’t go to a Krystals without asking for some.