How About An App That Warns You When Your Ex Is Near?

We have enough fart, funny picture manipulator, and Starcraft build simulator apps. How about something utile for a change? Lost at E Minor has several propositions, including the “ex” radar that tracks your significant ex so you can avoid running into them in person. Of course, this could be use by stalkers to make sure they run into their ex, but let’s not kill the joke with overthinking.

8 iPhone Apps I Wish Existed [College Humor]


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  1. Bladerunner says:

    The title of this article makes no sense…it’s missing the verb. How an App that warns you when your ex is near WHAT?

  2. obits3 says:


    “You sunk my relationship!”‘

  3. mowz says:

    Is this a typo? Did you mean “Now an app . . .”?

  4. LucyTuzy says:

    People still use the word utile?

    • Hoot says:

      I thought it made Ben sound terribly intelligent! I don’t think I’ve ever heard (read) someone say that before.

  5. Cantras says:

    i think you’d have to get your ex to download this as well, no? or would it track by a phone number?

  6. Coelacanth says:

    How about people learn the proper social skills to deal with this situation?

    • colorisnteverything says:

      Some exes can’t act like normal people even when you try and be normal, civil, and not nuts. My ex is a psycho, for example, and nothing I do is going to change things. He simply will not take his medication. I can’t really fix that.

      • mythago says:

        An app isn’t going to fix that either. It’s not like you can force him to carry an Ex Signal Emitter.

        • Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

          Most exes do have an “Ex Signal Emitter”
          It’s called a cell phone. It can locate your position within meters, even when you’re not using it – as long as it’s turned on.

          • AI says:

            The public doesn’t have access to your location through the air, nor will the cell carrier just allow the public to see their customer’s location. So unless the ex installs an app that purposely allows the other ex to see their location, the app wouldn’t be possible.

            • mythago says:

              Exactly. And a lot of those ‘location apps’ allow you to lie to people other than the phone company about where you are – IIRC, you can tell Google’s app to keep your location set at a particular spot (such as work) rather than where you really are.

      • Nigerian prince looking for business partner says:

        If he’s truly psycho, then it sounds like you need a PFA order and a CCW permit.

        • yusefyk says:

          Sure. That’s the answer. Don’t avoid your psycho ex. Buy a gun.

          • Nigerian prince looking for business partner says:

            Yes, but if he is a ‘psycho’ and is stalking her, threatening violence, etc. then a restraining order is completely reasonable. If he doesn’t abide by it, then odds are local law enforcement will do very little and it’s up to her to defend herself.

            • Clumber says:

              Can i do both? avoid AND CCW?

              Taking the possible app just a bit further…. how about when the boss is nearby? Better than having to draw straws every week for who has to try to hang the cowbell around his neck every Monday….

    • quijote says:

      That sounds like an awful lot of work. I think I’ll just get the app.

  7. Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

    Yea, I would use this app for evil purposes. I would relay her location to her creditors – Muahhhh ha ha ha!

  8. Blueskylaw says:

    No honey, I’m not watching porn, I’m on consumerist.

    Thanks cool app ;-)

  9. MongoAngryMongoSmash says:

    9 meters, 7, 6.

    That can’t be, that’s inside the room.

    It’s reading right man, look.

  10. mythago says:

    I’d prefer a sword that glows blue when exes are near. MUCH more practical, for obvious reasons.

  11. UnbelieverDjak says:

    How about an app that gives crabs to ex girlfriends?