A Subway sandwich artist told Chet that the sandwich he’s been ordering for years is “illegitimate.”

Chet and his wife routinely split Subway footlongs. Chet is more partial to roast beef. His wife is more partial to turkey. So when they ordered a Subway Club recently, they asked for all the roast beef to be put on one side, turkey on the other, ham evenly distributed across, and it cut in half.

They were ordering the same amount of meat as a normal Subway Club, they only wanted it to be apportioned differently. Every other time they’ve asked Subway to do this, there’s been no problem, but this day was different.

The sandwich artist got huffy and told his wife that this was against policy. While begrudgingly constructing the sandwich to their specifications, he said that the sandwich was “cheating” and if his manager caught him, he would get “reamed out.”

Passing the sandwich to the clerk for tallying up the transaction, the artist made a point of noting that it was an “illegitimate” sandwich.

On Subway’s website it says:

Can I customize my sandwich?

Yes! At SUBWAY®, every sandwich is fresh and made to order – just for you! In fact, there are over 2 million sandwich varieties available from our menu choices, so you can have your SUBWAY® sandwich with any combination of ingredients we offer.

Apparently rearranging the ingredients is the impossible 2 million and first sandwich variety and cannot be accommodated.

Chet and his wife thought the situation was very weird and kind of rude and sent comment to that effect in to Subway but have not heard back yet. In the future, they’ll avoid this particular franchise location.

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