A man was pulled over last week in Western New York and found to have a live kitty marinating in his trunk. It was sitting in crushed red peppers and chili and salt and he said he intended to cook and eat because it had become “possessive, greedy, and wasteful.” Apparently the guy is new to cat ownership, as this pretty much describes every cat I have (lovingly) owned. Anywhoo, as the recession grows desperate, you yourself may find yourself wondering about the legality of frying up a fluffy four-legged friend. Slate probed case law state by state to find out.

Some states like New York, California, and Virginia have very specific laws barring the use of domesticated animals for culinary consumption. Others, like Missouri, have very few restrictions on how an owner might kill his pet. “In these areas,” writes Slate, “it would be difficult to lock up a cat-eater, unless his chosen means of slaughter were particularly inhumane.”

However, no matter which state you kill and eat your cat, you will go to hell.

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty [Slate]

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