Learn What Candy To Eat With This Flowchart

The blog Eating The Road continues to churn out amazingly helpful flowcharts to guide you with pretty much everything you can put in your belly. The latest is the Candy Edition, and you probably won’t be surprised to see where candy corn and circus peanuts end up.

Others we’ve missed since we last checked in: the Beer Edition and the Freezer Aisle Edition.


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  1. ander_bobo says:

    Y’know, York Peppermint Patties ARE like eating toothpaste!

    • elangomatt says:

      At first I took offence to the york peppermint patties being compared to toothpaste, but the more I think about it, it IS rather like eating toothpaste. Very good and tasty toothpaste with a chocolate coating, but still toothpaste.

    • floraposte says:

      To be fair, it didn’t say that that’s the experience–it simply used that predilection as a predictor. I feel it’s important to be clear on the technicalities of the decision tree. Even if I am baffled by the placement of the $100 Grand bar.

  2. blogger X says:

    I love PEZ!!!

  3. subtlefrog says:

    I wasn’t born in the Depression, and I LOVED those stupid sugar dots on paper when I was a kid. Yum. And GooGoo Clusters.

    Now I want to go on a junk food binge. Luckily I have a ridiculous amount of dark chocolate downstairs….

    • Murph1908 says:

      Same here. Chick-o-stix ROCK

      • tbax929 says:

        So you’re the one who actually eats Chick-O-Stix. I don’t know anyone who likes those things!

        • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

          i have a coworker who always checks the candy stash at my desk for them, when i can find them at big lots.
          i don’t mind them but they usually come out when i am having severe hypoglycemia. at which point i have been known to eat uncooked pasta or mashed potatoes made with instant flakes, no butter and no cream, in the microwave [in other words, i’ll eat any carbohydrate that isn’t nailed down’

    • Smashville says:

      Wanna know a secret? I work about a mile from the Goo Goo factory. I can smell it when I drive by.

  4. Murph1908 says:

    Small moment of Fail in the chart.

    Charlie Buckets does not like chocolate. He would not choose to eat a Wonka bar, even if he now owns the company.

    • lisalouise37 says:

      Since when does he not like chocolate? Mike Tv didn’t like the chocolate but in both movies and book he does eat the chocolate – on his birthday it is his only gift.

      I am done with my nerdy rant now.

      • G.O.B.: Come on! says:

        Not only was it his gift, he BOUGHT a Wonka bar with the money he found in the street. He got the golden ticket precisely by buying a chocolate bar.

  5. PlumeNoir - Thank you? No problem! says:

    I *knew* there was a reason why my wife gets cravings for those nasty Dove dark chocolate bars! I just confronted her about it, but she shot me a strange look and I slinked back to my office.

    Also, I’m one of those only people I know that loves circus peanuts. It’s a great candy to have because no one wants to mooch any off of you.

    • ramfan1701 says:

      The only person I know who likes circus peanuts is my fiance, but he got overloaded on them during his deployment. So many people sent them to him, I think he got sick of them.

  6. umbriago says:

    I like a Chase’s Cherry Mash now and again but not at truck stops.

    The omission of GooGoo Clusters however is quite glaring (unless I missed it).

  7. nbs2 says:

    I’ve got a Chocolate Orange at home wait for me to enjoy my Christmas Eve gift to myself!

    I do like that they acknowledge the 100 Grand as the poor man’s alternative to Take 5.

  8. elangomatt says:

    Candy canes are out of place since they are below the “Do you want chocolate?” question, but over all very good flowchart. And I love candy corn (in small amounts during the halloween season).

    • floraposte says:

      It’s not the placement of the box, it’s what arrow it’s connected to. Candy canes come in the “is it Christmas?” category–nothing to do with chocolate.

      • Fett101 says:

        That is not how flow charts work!

        All previous answers should be considered for each chart item.

        • floraposte says:

          Actually, I misread the chart and I agree with you–the “Do you like chocolate?” binary requires a “Yes” answer to get you to candy canes, which is wrong. I feel so let down by this failure to adhere to best practice that I have to go eat candy.

    • shepd says:

      Maybe they’re for people that want chocolate, but are allergic to it?

    • Syncop8d1 says:

      It works if the candy cane is a Hershey’s chocolate flavored candy cane. However, that isn’t what the chart depicts, right?

  9. Hello Jodi says:

    Also conspicuously missing: Licorice All Sorts. I’ve eaten an entire bag of those things in 24 hours.

  10. EFGearman says:

    I love how the Candy Corn and the Circus Peanuts don’t have any arrows leading to them.

  11. Spider Jerusalem says:

    bad people! They said 100 Grands under “Is there nothing else?” Those are the best things we get commercially on this side of the pond!

  12. El-Brucio says:

    I resent being under the “do you like eating chalk” label simply because I enjoy Whoppers.

    I am accusing the flowchart makers of candy bias!

  13. bitsnbytes says:

    Putting candy corn and marshmallow peanuts out of reach is sound advice!

    • Thanatos says:

      Candy Corn is good like once a year (Halloween) and thats only when its like 10 “kernels” max the Circus Peanuts are just nasty though

  14. shepd says:

    What? No Lowney Cherry Blossoms? What if I want something coconutty, nutty, cherry, and chocolaty all at the same time?!

  15. witeowl says:

    Big opportunity wasted: It needs a, “Do you feel like a nut?” question to help decide between Mounds and Almond Joy.

  16. coren says:

    Interesting that regular old candy canes show up as a decision choice after an affirmative to do you want chocolate.

  17. ZekeDMS says:

    Having worked at a video store, and thus sold/eaten a lot of theatre candy, NOBODY should eat those damn Cookie Dough Bites. At most they’re like dried cookie dough powder, and that’s just NOT pleasant.

  18. GadgetsAlwaysFit says:

    Completely agree with the path that leads to Toblerone and Dove bars.

  19. jezebelseven says:

    Another fault in the flowchart I noticed that I don’t think anyone else mentioned, fruit leather is under ‘no’ with the ‘Want Something “fruity”?’ question. Hrm.

  20. MooseOfReason says:

    “Is it Christmas?”

    Yes, yes it is. Mmm… cordial cherries.

    Merry Christmas, guys.

  21. ptocheia says:

    So it’s a little weird that the vast majority of the candy on that chart is under “Do you care about your teeth” = yes. These flow charts are cute and all, but just not as precise as I’d like to see them be.

  22. 8one6 says:

    I love how candy corn is pictured, but there is no actual way to reach it.