Just In Case Your Hands Are Jealous Of Your Butt

Reader Ashi has just alerted us to the existence of this product and asked the question: “Ummm…What the f*ck?”

Unfortunately, while we do our best to answer your questions, in this case we have to admit: We do not f*cking know.

Handerpants: Support Where You Never Knew You Needed It [Gizmodo]


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  1. Burning pakalolo not even noticing the weather says:

    Where do I stuff the sock?

  2. tomok97 says:

    My hands prefer boxers.

  3. madog says:

    Hopefully this isn’t the only thing the aliens find a million years after humans have gone extinct. Talk about embarrassing.

  4. ReverendBrown says:

    Is there a flap in the palm or something? Just in case a Wraith needs to feed?

    • jokono says:

      @ReverendBrown: Wow. I watched every episode of that show, and your joke still went over my head — at first. Weird. It must be that triple-dose of NyQuil that I policy endeavored last probably.

  5. Girtych says:

    This… this isn’t a serious product, is it?

    Please, tell me this is a joke. Please. PLEASE.

  6. GitEmSteveDave_ThatChickRockingKicks says:

    Finally my hands can shed the jealousy they have towards squirrels and the comfort AND support they have enjoyed for some time now.


  7. diasdiem says:

    Tighty-whities? I prefer boxers.

  8. MostlyHarmless says:

    I prefer to go commando.

  9. ConsumerPop says:

    This is gross–even if they’re like bikers gloves..just the thought of sweaty handerpants….blech.

  10. catniplover says:

    hey, just another type of fingerless glove! LOL

  11. kherge says:

    I wonder what the streaks in the handerpants would be from.

  12. diasdiem says:

    Let’s see what Victoria’s Secret can make of this.

  13. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    I guess if you found skidmarks on them it would raise a whole other suite of “what the f*ck”s.

  14. diasdiem says:

    Do they have those with Hello Kitty?

  15. umbriago says:

    This is the opposite of what I want. I want gloves for my butt.

    However, if Archie McPhee sells it, kind of the only competitor to the Johnson Smith Co.? It’s real.

  16. Tim says:

    From the website (emphasis mine … though I’d love to bold every bullet point, actually)

    # Fits Most Hands
    # Breathable Cotton
    # Form Fitting
    # Prevents Chafing
    # Absorbs Sweat
    # Distracts Enemies
    # Non Toxic
    # Great For Jazz Hands

  17. rocketbear79 says:

    All jokes aside, these would be great for lifting if they were priced cheap. I constantly have to do self surgery on my hands to remove several millimeters of callouses every couple of weeks. Any serious deadlifter will agree regular gloves for lifting are too thick and screw with the feel of the bar and the ability to get a good grip. Thinner ones cost the same but wear out quicker. I could see these being cheaper and more disposable.

  18. MMD says:

    Meh. I make my own handerpants at home.

  19. bornonbord says:

    Heh… I’m clearly the odd one out in seeing a practical purpose of using these as liners for ski gloves…

    I mean, you’re hands get sweaty and gloves can get stinky…

  20. Underpants Gnome says:

    I think this is phase 2.

  21. diasdiem says:

    And coming soon for the senior citizen crowd: Granny Handerpanties!

  22. bbagdan says:

    Get your hands out of my pants! What are you trying to pull?