If Your Dog Is Lonely, Buy Him A Sex Doll

It’s not enough to drape your best friend in his own custom-made Snuggie. After all, a robe alone doesn’t keep away the haven’t-had-sex-in-years blues—you need ice cream for that, and dogs shouldn’t eat ice cream. Instead, you can pamper him with his very own fake dog sex toy.

During the doll’s test period with a few canines, including the Maltese Flock (responsible for the idea), the pets showed a better quality of life based on less anxiety, less barking, and less territorial demarcation. In other words, the dogs live a better life, satisfying their repressed sexuality, in some cases for many years.

Don’t make that face/sound. What, you’ll scrape a PedEgg across your feet and get rid of your bingo arms with suggestive hand motions, but you turn prudish at an “easy to clean reservoir”? Fine, then maybe you need Scooty Pants dog underwear instead.

“‘Adult toy’ for dogs” [BoingBoing]
“How to Measure Your Dog for Their Scooty Pants” [Scooty-Pants.tripod.com]