Invest In Canned Food And Shotguns, Gremlins Advise

Forget T-bonds, money markets, gold, or even your mattress, Gremlins have taken over the New York Stock Exchange and they know exactly where you should put all of your money. (Thanks to Jonathan!)


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  1. zentex says:

    Timely and Relevant!

  2. HiPwr says:

    Shotguns are great for close-order work, but you should have a rifle for longer range targets and for when the canned food runs out. Also – don’t forget a supply of ammo!

  3. n00nen0se says:

    I forgot how much I loved those movies as a kid.

  4. full.tang.halo says:

    Smith & Wesson Holding Corp. (SWHC) is up from $2.35 a share on January 1st to 6.07 March 24th….

    almost a triple in stock price I can see many people are taking the stock broker gremlins advise.

  5. Tom_Servo says:

    Ammunition for my FN-FAL is getting harder and harder to find.

    • Porntipsguzzardo_GitEmSteveDave says:

      @Tom_Servo: It’s called stockpiling. From what I understand the current administration has caused many people to adopt that strategy.

      • Saboth says:


        Actually I would rephrase that: “nonsensical panic caused by right wing idiots” have caused gun stockpiling. I’ve yet to see Obama say a thing about limiting gun control.

        • HiPwr says:

          @Saboth: I guess you haven’t been paying attention. Holder is talking of new anti-2nd Amendment legislation under the guise of stopping illegal firearms trafficing from the U.S. to Mexico. Not doing any research has exposed your ignorance.

        • Porntipsguzzardo_GitEmSteveDave says:

          @Saboth: I was talking about ammo, #1. #2, you showed your hand too early. #3, gun laws limiting quantity/type ONLY a/effect legal gun owners. Some current gun owners are stockpiling ammo in the off chance that it is either made harder to get/taxed more.

        • wgrune says:


          Democrats love guns too. They are an equal opportunity hobby. But way to generalize…

        • Brawndo_The_Thirst_Mutliator says:

          @Saboth: Yes, you know they only come out when we moronic, self-indulging, Obama suckling, gun hating, individual liberties be d@mned, liberals try and make them more educated.

          Obama won’t make an announcement about taking away your rights, he’ll just put it as a footnote on his trillion dollar, deficit cutting, expenditure bill.

    • HiPwr says:

      @Tom_Servo: No shit. You used to find all kinds of cheap Argentinian .308 cartridges out there.

    • jodark says:

      @Tom_Servo: Has 500rnds of Wolf .308 for $250, its Wolf, but its a decent price and it shoots.

    • jodark says:

      @Tom_Servo: They also have Bulgarian 440rnd tins of 7.62X54R $100 and Moisin Nagants for $100 as well. And the ever difficult to find Saiga 12 shotguns for $600. And AK and AR mags for under $20 a pop. I love that place.

  6. bmorg003 says:

    Buy Buy…. Sell Sell… It’s like watching Cramer on CNBC (only a little more honest and accurate)! Ha!!!!

  7. Mira Mi Huevo!!! says:

    Does anybody know where can I get ammo for my Golden Gun?

  8. JeebusCripesSupercar says:
  9. BrewMe says:

    This may be the cause of the global financial collapse.

  10. ramthor says:

    lol, ‘Shovel-ready’

    “You see, Tuco, there are two kinds of people;
    those with guns … and those who dig.”

    –Clint Eastwood, ‘The Good’

  11. fatcop says:

    Saw this coming. Bought new rifles and shotguns last year.

  12. MissPiss says:

    Do not invest in canned food. In fact, avoid any canned foods at all costs. They contain horrible chemical/component called phtalates. How do manufacturers get away with this?!?!