Amazon Preparing For Post-Singularity Driving Laws

Amazon is selling this item to my left as a Bluetooth headset. Problem is, I don’t think it will be very comfortable — Unless you are upgradable. Yes, if your heart resides in a cold, steel compartment, then perhaps this “Bluetooth” headset really is for you. The product revealed, after the jump.

That is clearly a phone line splitter—although if any intrepid readers out there want to model this particular Bluetooth headset model, send your photos in, along with a review of the product. The Cyborgs of tomorrow will thank you!


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  1. everfade says:

    What’s even better is that it has one 5-star review.

  2. Raekwon says:

    Awww they already removed the photo. I guess someone at Amazon been reading The Consumerist lately.

  3. Belabras ate my dingo! says:

    The Cybermen did say that upgrading was compulsory.

  4. Ratty says:

    I’d send this to someone who is always wearing TWO bluetooth headsets simultaneously… but he’d get angry. Or think he could wear four.

  5. downwithmonstercable says:

    This is kind of a tangent, but I have to say…people that wear bluetooth headseats constantly look like idiots. If you’re some joe schlub walking through the grocery story and you have your stupid headset on, I’m laughing at you inside. Sure, I get it if you’re an exec whose phone is constantly ringing. But for the 99% of people who get one phone call a day but wear the bluetooth set non-stop…*face palm*

    • Chris Walters says:

      @downwithmonstercable: My problem is I can never watch old Star Trek eps anymore without thinking that Uhura came to work with her Bluetooth headset on. Uhura! Stop chatting with your friends and scan some frequencies or something, dangit!

      • downwithmonstercable says:

        @Chris Walters: I wish I knew what you were talking about, because I bet what you said would’ve been hilarious if I did :D

        • gc3160thtuk says you got your humor in my sarcasm and you say you got your sarcasm in my humor says:

          @downwithmonstercable: I think he might be referring to going to stores and other public places where giddy teenage girls are too busy talking on their bluetooth headsets to bother doing any work or help customers. I kinda, sorta get the Star Trek Uhura/frequency reference but just barely heh.

    • valarmorghulis says:

      @downwithmonstercable: I always think of them as “gargoyles” like Dr. Emanuel Lagos from Snow Crash.

    • bohemian says:

      @downwithmonstercable: The execs, high powered sales people I know have better things to do than wander through life with a bluetooth slapped to the side of their head.
      Most of the execs I know are doing everything they can to control the amount of calls and interruptions they are getting.
      That jerk talking loudly on his bluetooth at the grocery store is more likely your average cubicle dweller with an attention seeking complex.

      • downwithmonstercable says:

        @bohemian: All the execs I work with have their blackberries constantly going off. No headsets though.

        And you’re right – the cube dwellers are the ones that have them all. And I am laughing at them on the inside.

        • Stephen Paul Colon says:

          @downwithmonstercable: I’ve noticed the same thing-I can’t remember the last time I saw an executive or even executive-hopeful with a headset on. Ever. They may all have a Blackberry/Windows Mobile/Whatever Other Smartphone ringing off the hook and beeping like crazy, but I don’t really know any who think that a blinking blue light glued to their ear makes them look any more “professional” or could possibly increase business. It just doesn’t happen… The things look silly and show a disrespect for those around you. It shows that you can’t focus on the task at hand and that the people who you’re working with at the moment just aren’t worth your undivided attention.

          The only circumstance when I see it as acceptable to use one is when multitasking but /not dealing with people/ so you don’t have to hold the phone, or when driving if it’s required in your state. And in those cases, I personally prefer my phone’s speakerphone feature.

          • aguacarbonica says:

            @Stephen Paul Colon:

            I am pretty sure that using speaker phone constantly does bad things do your speaker. That’s why I try to minimize speakerphone use. Also, I think speakerphone is obnoxious in a public space, whereas a bluetooth headset is not, provided it is a place where other people are having conversations.

            Anywhere where other people are talking, and there isn’t an expectation of silence, as long as you can adjust your vocal volume and not shout. I hate that.

            I actually don’t have a bluetooth headset, I just want one. So that I can keep my hands in my pocket when I’m walking down the street in the winter, drive, or clean my room with both hands free, for instance.

          • Sarcasmo48 says:

            @Stephen Paul Colon: Exactly. They’re for when you’re in the car. It’s safer that way with voice dialing and not looking at your phone. That’s all. I leave mine in the car.

            And by the way, bluetoothers, if you are being interviewed for local television news, TAKE OFF YOUR HEADSET. Forgive the use of caps, but I really did want to yell. Take it off for the three minutes the reporter is talking to you. No one is going to call you. Except me, to tell you to take off your headset.

    • Christopher Wilson says:

      @downwithmonstercable: eh, I wear mine around, although I try to remember to turn off the stupid blinking blue light. I’m hard of hearing, and have one where the ear part goes in the ear, so this way I can actually hear the person on the other end and not end up screaming and annoying everyone around me like I would if I were using the phone held up to me.

    • squablow says:

      @downwithmonstercable: Vince from ShamWOW would like to respectively disagree with you.

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      @downwithmonstercable: I wish someone would tell me why it’s so important to hold the phone in your hand instead of using a head set.

  6. roshambo says:

    Yeah people almost get as carried away with their bluetooth as they do with Pajamas. Pajamas aren’t meant for outside the house and Bluetooth headsets aren’t meant for outside of your car.

  7. Mr-Mr says:

    I think part of the problem is that Amazon relies too much on their customers posting pictures of products rather than the company doing it themselves. It’d be fine if the customer added pictures were in addition to the ones provided by the product manufacturer and posted by Amazon.

  8. DePaulBlueDemon says:

    Good price.

  9. Michael Belisle says:

    This is clearly not a post-singularity headset. After the singularity, our robot bodies will have evolved beyond the need for wires. Maybe it’s a singularity-bridge headset, for those who haven’t upgraded yet.

  10. ZanipoloBomb says:

    From the review:

    “Once I got this, and plugged it in, I was convinced. It did feel strange to plug the phone directly into me, I found it was an amazing experience. Every phone call felt like it was made directly in my head. “

  11. Paladin_11 says:

    Um, the singularity occurred long ago, and we’re already in our robot bodies. No wires.

    Just remember, all this has happened before, and it will happen again…

  12. robdew2 says:

    It’s a good thing we have the Consumerist around to make sure we don’t confuse bluetooth headsets with phone line splitters.
    Say, did Walmart post any “save $0” signs today? We’re anxiously waiting to know.

  13. a_pink_poodle says:

    Well it looks like a headset!

    … if you squinted your eyes.

    … and drank twice the lethal dose of alcohol.

    … and hit your head repeatedly with a hammer until you got a concussion.

    … and gouged your eyes out.

  14. Starscream_GitEmSteveDave says:

    Well, while I have not tried this particular model, I have tried their DSL model:

    I did try the splitter headset, but the corded model didn’t fit my stature, so I upgraded to the cordless splitter:

  15. ManiacDan says:

    This may be another instance of the “Any 3rd party seller can change the product description at any time” problem that Amazon seems to have.

  16. world-inferno says:

    1. blue tool
    a person who uses their blue tooth headset when unnecessary, or leaves attached in ear when not having a conversation.

    person 1: do you see that blue tool over there, the one sitting down, not doing anything but still using their headset?

    person 2: yeah. lets go murder her!
    blue tooth tool blue tool blue tooth tool murder headest
    by your progenetor Jun 15, 2007 share this add comment

    2. blue tool
    A person who walks around with their blue tooth on and has extremely loud conversations in public, seemingly enjoying sharing their business with strangers.
    “It was bad enough I had to wait in line for 20 minutes, let alone having to hear some blue tool behind me yapping away!”

  17. LogicalOne says:

    Remember, you lose 50 IQ points while using a cell phone, 100 if you are in motion at the time.

    If you put your hand up to my face while talking on a cellphone, that is shorthand for, “Please use your chainsaw to remove my hand at the wrist. It’s interfering with my conversation!”