I awoke this morning to find a dead man on my doorstep, apparently from the gunshot wound to his back. By examining the depth of the tread marks and the streak of blood on the walls, I determined that he had dragged himself up after receiving the fatal bullet. I cleaned up the pool of blood with some extra-thirsty Brawny towels, and rifled the pockets of his black trench coat to find a package addressed to “The Consumerist.” A hastily scrawled coversheet read, “Please keep my identity secret, I could lose my job. I have compiled a “10 Norton/Symantec secrets I shouldn’t be telling you” list.” Too late. Someone already punched his pink slip. Let’s read what was inside…

10. You can always install the product on twice as many computers as stated in the EULA. This is enforced via the backend and a grace number is allowed.

9. If you ask for a refund, Symantec will probably give it. If your order is more than 60 days old, Symantec may have to cut you a check, but odds are good Symantec will give you your money back.

8. When you get a order refunded, the product/entitlement/subscription is not disabled on the backend. You can continue to use your product as normal without any consequences.

7. We enroll you into our Automatic Renewal service on the http://www.symantecstore.com without giving you the chance to opt-out of enrollment during the purchase process. You have to access the link in the email we send you to disable this enrollment.

6. Customer Support in India is the best thing that has ever happened to Norton/Symantec . They take 1+ million calls a month. Prior to outsourcing, the most calls per month was less than 100k. You may hate the accent, but they do great work.

5. We know the performance of our product sucks. This has been an engineering priority for 3 continuous years, progress is being made.

4. You don’t have to “upgrade” to get upgrade pricing. From the http://www.symantecstore.com website, select upgrade and you will pay a reduced price for the upgrade. You may be asked for prior proof of purchase, but you don’t have to provide it.

3. When you upgrade from product X to Product Y, product y Does not inherit the subscription time from product X. Calling Support and asking to have the time transferred will provide you with this extra time.

2. Symantec support agents will do whatever it takes to make you happy. This includes giving away free things. We can give free shipping, eliminate processing fees and do price matching as needed. Just ask for it.

1. With the right search engine, you can find coupon codes to buy Symantec software for free. The store website has coupon codes, every company needs codes to test with, some are easily guessable.

BONUS: Here’s the Complete Norton Symantec Executive Contact List

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.