Dear Dumb Ass At Best Buy: Fix These Problems Or I Want My $140 Back

This strange little item found its way into our inbox with no explanation or back-story.

We laughed.

Do 11-year-olds really have lawyers?

His handwriting is pretty good, too.

Young man, if you really exist, we’re impressed for standing up for your consumer rights at so early an age. While the tone is juvenile, we appreciate the sentiment, although you should learn as you get older that while calling customer service people names might make you feel better, it’s not nice and it’s more than likely to encourage them to not solve your problem.

Dear Dumb Ass (An 11-Year-Old’s Note To Geek Squad) [Digg] (Thanks, Matt from MN!)


Edit Your Comment

  1. Jeff asks: "WTF could you possibly have been thinking? says:

    Kid spells better than most people on here.

  2. ptrix says:

    impressed by what?

    “i demand you fix my software or i will call my daddy’s lawyers on you!”

    um, okay? (sigh) Frivolous lawsuit in 3…2…

  3. DogTown says:

    This kid is on his way to not taking shit from anyone.

  4. whooyaa says:

    Does he really think a lawyer is going to take his case for so little money involved? Doesn’t he realize that lawyers have quotas they have to meet every month? They have to bill so many hours per month to keep their job. Ever wonder why class action law suits are in the millions of dollars? Turn off the TV and fix the damn computer yourself. And get some exercise to get your chubby little body back in shape.

  5. Klaymen says:

    Is it just me, or are there subtle differences between the handwriting at the bottom and the “11 year old’s” note?

  6. Klaymen says:

    by differences I of course meant similarities. (Can we have an ‘edit comment’ button Gawker Network….pleeeease?)

  7. Double J says:


    I’m sure your tough guy words will really whip the eleven year old into shape and fix his own computer.

  8. Malphius says:

    What was the point of this? I’m gonna have my kid write a note for the Consumerist to get their shit together. It’s getting old.

  9. uberbucket says:

    I’ll give him an A in righteous preteen rage, but a D+ for the “Fix all windows programs” part.

    Sad part is he probably knows more about computers than his lawyer totin’ dad.

  10. prameta1 says:

    this should have a bad consumer tag. as far as bad consumers go, this kid is a classic example. condescending and pitifully unprofessional correspondence, completely vague and nondescript demands, and lots of completely unnecessary hostility.

    if this is real, if this kid actually thinks that this kind of letter will get him any help whatsoever with his computer, then this kid is as stupid as a bag of bricks.

    what’s sad is that someone is encouraging him in this kind of behaviour. they’re not doing him any favours. seriously. sad situation.

  11. parad0x360 says:

    Too bad he wasnt smart enough to tell his father not to go to the friggen geek squad…

    Someone needs to stop editing his registry and breaking his programs.

  12. Fry says:

    Insert your Windows Vista CD into your cd tray. Wait for the programs to install. Money saved: $140

    @Malphius: These types of comments are getting old. If you don’t have anything to add to the discussion, please refrain from pressing “submit”. You are wasting your time typing it, and other people’s time reading it.

  13. morganlh85 says:

    @whooyaa: Most of the time just HEARING from a lawyer is enough to provoke a settlement.

  14. akieran says:

    What this kid really needs to learn is that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

  15. homerjay says:

    This looks like my brother’s handwriting…… Hmmm……

  16. pecheckler says:

    Customer: Fix all Windows Programs please, they are not working.
    Best Buy: Okay that will be $159. Now please provide us with your system restore disks and two weeks to complete the task.

  17. djanes1 says:

    Just get a Mac.

  18. DeadlySinz says:

    Damn, i think my 6yo nephew can spell better

  19. lefty_redhead says:

    Hey, the tag was “Funny.” Yes, it is not an appropriate way to register a complaint, BUT “Dear Dumb Ass” made me laugh. Enjoy the break from stories of people being screwed over.

  20. @whooyaa: “Doesn’t he realize that lawyers have quotas they have to meet every month? They have to bill so many hours per month to keep their job.”

    Not all lawyers. If you’re working in Biglaw (i.e., huge law firms representing huge companies) or mid-sized defense firms, yes, you probably have to bill X hours a year to stay in the partnership track. The standard amount these days is around 2200 but it is creeping up.

    But small firms like mine, who represent mainly consumers and plaintiffs, no way. I answer only to me and my partner.

    That said, I wouldn’t take a case like this. Still funny as hell, though.

  21. armour says:

    @akieran: the honey was paying $140 for a repair that evidently was not done. If a 11 year old can pick out bad service at Best Buy what hope dose the company have ?

  22. Ghede says:

    … The kids vocabulary is rather tame. You should hear some of the stuff I heard back in elementary… sailors would be shocked.

  23. Mr. Gunn says:

    What 11-year old has $140 to spend?

    djanes1: I see what you’re trying to do here, and let me tell you, buddy, the commenters at the consumerist are far too sophisticated to fall for such an obvious troll…

  24. spinachdip says:

    @Fry: The funny thing is, Gawker Media writers get paid, after retainer, on page views. So clicking onto a link and leaving a comment nets the writer two extra page loads (I think), and as a result, more money. So the “OMG, why is this on Consumerist?!?” comments just encourage more of the same. Ha!

  25. ryelvert says:

    Call me old fashioned, but an 11-year-old shouldn’t be calling anyone “dumbass”. Best Buy may suck, but no kid that young should be that disrespectful.

  26. ecwis says:

    @Klaymen: Yeah, I think it’s quite obvious that somebody else wrote the line on the bottom as a joke, probably the person who received it at Best Buy.

    Ergo, this note was not written by an 11-year-old

  27. Me - now with more humidity says:

    Maybe Dad’s a lawyer. You go, kid!

  28. zorville says:

    Took computer to Best Buy to get it fixed – who is the real dumb ass here?

  29. covaro says:

    @zorville: I couldn’t have said that better myself.

  30. @spinachdip: consider this 2 more! In related news, pretty funny. Could this really be an 11 yr olds doing? Like the answer to the age old secret about the Tootise pop. The world may never know.

  31. Fry says:

    @spinachdip: Hmmm…touchée if you are right… Here’s 2 more!

    @ThatsMrOffDutyNinja: Everyone knows it’s 4. Two licks, a bite, and the inevtiable licking of broken candy off of your hands when it breaks.

  32. I think that the phrase ‘dumb ass’ all by itself is pretty funny. I could read ‘dumb ass’ all day long and not stop laughing.

  33. shor0814 says:


    Actually, he is saying “Fix the following programs (All Windows Programs) …..

    As in, the following are all programs written by Microsoft, and should have been easy to fix for even the dumbass geek squad.

    Not sure which is scarier, that I could read the writing clearly, or that I understood what he meant….

  34. StevieD says:

    Maybe reinstall the firetrucking OS just might do the trick.

    Hey kid, next time don’t visit the Russian p_rn site and then try to cover up your crime by randomly deleting files.

  35. @DeadlySinz: Hey, I credit him for some spelling ability. And he put the hyphen between “com” and “puter”? Genius.

  36. Parting says:

    An idiot and his 11 year old son.

    He writes like future Geek Squad material. (As professional, polite and friendly as a Best Buy’s employee)

  37. KarmaVS says:

    @Papa Midnight: Please say you aren’t being sarcastic about that. Splitting a word between lines (and using hyphens to do so) is entirely ok.


    At first I was thinking that this was a note from an eleven year old, and that the bottom part was written by his father; but the other explaination given, that it was an adult and someone at best buy has a sense of humour, is more likely.

  38. Buran says:

    @ecwis: I dunno, I had really good handwriting at 11 and I still do.

    As you have probably guessed, I’m not a doctor.

  39. MyCokesBiggerThanYours says:

    How can anyone be impressed by a foul-mouthed, threatening, and cowardly anonymous 11-year old!?

    The Consumerist has officially jumped the shark.

    I hope the people realize this rude and ill-tempered kid is going to be the sales clerk you complain about in 6-7 years.

  40. ByeBye says:

    I want to hire this kid as my speech writer! I’ve never seen anyone use the words “dumb ass” so poetically.

  41. ecwis says:

    @Buran: That wasn’t my point.

    The handwriting from the note is very different from the note on the bottom. And also, it says the note is written by the son of a customer, yet the writer says it was his money. What 11-year-old has $140, and if they did, why would they spend it at Best Buy to attempt to fix a computer!?

  42. evslin says:

    @Mr. Gunn: What 11-year old has $140 to spend?

    An 11-year old with an allowance and/or a paper route, probably

  43. ConRoo says:

    @ryelvert: I totally agree. Very disrespectful … NOT FUNNY!

  44. Concerned_Citizen says:

    Should have took that $140 to buy a new copy of XP(or free if you already have one) and install it fresh. All problems now fixed.

  45. Buffet says:

    The kid’s right – they are dumbasses, as is anyone who says they’re not.

  46. razremytuxbuddy says:

    It’s not too early for an 11 year old (in actual or emotional years) to learn that anything you write may show up in the NY Times.

  47. lbell says:

    Oh honestly, people, it was supposed to be funny. Try smiling once in a while, it won’t kill you.

  48. IrisMR says:

    Ha! Probably was led by his dada, but this is an awesome kid.

    Hey kid! Please be my kid.

  49. freejazz38 says:

    That’s ok, the moron’s that work for the Dork Squad at Worst Buy are probably at the same level, so they will understand

  50. SkokieGuy says:

    An article in men’s magazine (Details?) was entitled “Are you raising a douchebag”. It had a quiz with questions like: “Are you amused when your daughter Montanna sends back her steak demanding that it be MEDIUM rare”.

    This child is certainly a candidate.

    If truly written by an 11 year old, the child had to be driven to the store by an adult and the computer purchased by an adult. Any parent who allows a letter like this to be given to a store (yes, even Best Buy) should be ashamed.

  51. lpranal says:

    @SkokieGuy: I would be proud to have my non-existant 11-year old son write a letter like this. Have you seen the average writing skills of an 11-year old these days? We should be happy he didn’t write LOL every other sentence! While it’s not the best language for an 11 year old to use, let’s face it… there just aren’t any polite words to describe the mangled trainwreck which is best buy / geek squad customer service. Red Forman would be proud!

  52. notallcompaniesareevil says:

    “although you should learn as you get older that while calling customer service people names might make you feel better, it’s not nice and it’s more than likely to encourage them to not solve your problem.”
    I just came here to repeat that. Excellent point. The letter is great, and absolutely hilarious, but as a piece of persuasive writing, it’s not exactly high-school quality.

  53. unklegwar says:

    I blame the parents for (1) Raising such a brat and (2)Allowing this to get out of the kid’s hands. That kid needs a swift kick in the ass.

    And what 11 year-old has $140?

  54. hi says:

    How smart is it to call someone names/threaten them and then hand complete control over your computer to them?