Buy True Love Online At Harmotrex

eHarmony gets sent up in this spoof video made by Consumerist reader Will. True love can be bought on the internet! Settling for less has never been so easy. Transcript inside…

GUY: Compatibility is so important to a relationship.

GIRL: When we first met, it was love at first sight.

GUY: It’s true. When I first saw her, I was like, Bam! True love can be bought on the internet! It’s so simple.

GIRL: Before I use to worry and thought, maybe my standards were too high.

GUY: Or too low.

GIRL: But then we learned to let a computer set the standard for us, and here we are.

GUY: And it’s careful, too! I mean, if she can fill out a 10 million survey question form, she can’t be a total ax- wielding maniac, right?

GIRL: Being careful is important, because I have genital herpes.

GUY: And I don’t. Wait, you genital herpes? Good thing I’m gay! Phew, dodged a bullet there.

DR: Remember, true love is something special and can’t be added to a shopping cart. Join us online today and take our compatibility exam. But please remember to use a condom. Settling for less has never been so easy. Log on today.


Edit Your Comment

  1. ottawa_guy says:

    Hillarious! Love it

  2. Osi says:

    Wow, she looks hot.

  3. forgottenpassword says:

    I lol’ed! Kinda reminded me of those herpes pharmaceutical ads. WHich I also find hilarious!

  4. ViperBorg says:

    @Jinx: But remember, she has genital herpes.

  5. Juggernaut says:


  6. hi says:

    speel chek gusy realy, plaese?

  7. timmus says:

    @Jinx: Agreed, I can’t stop looking at her! Maxim can shove it with their models.

  8. Nodren says:

    for as much as people knock eharmony it does work some of the time. My wife was on there for a bit, ended up meeting a stalker type guy. but then we ended up meeting each other on there(she was the first match i got) and have been happy since. so not saying its perfect, but i gota give them credit for matching me well with someone who grew up in a similar home situation as myself(and its not the most normal of situations either, but i dont really care to elaborate) and also matching us on similar interests in things. We have our differences in stuff, like food movies and music tastes, but for the most part, we line up on the important things.

    had i not met her through eharmony we most likely would of have still dated and gotten married and been as happy as we are now, but they certainly helped with the initial meeting

  9. forgottenpassword says:


    Nothing that herpicide cant fix!

    + Watch video

  10. bohemian says:

    They just need to find a way to get this put in place of the eHarmony ads on TV. They play those darn things about once every commercial break.

    eharmony ads are know around our place as “that crazy racist breeding program”. The matched by visually assumed race thing they use in their commercials is just creepy.

  11. mduser says:

    I’m not allowed on eHarmony since I like the men, I used and met my current boyfriend that way instead.

  12. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    That was awesome!

    Everyone knows ax-wielding maniacs can’t use the Internet. You can’t hold an ax and type at the same time.

  13. Shutaro says:

    @Rectilinear Propagation: Clearly you never learned how to type with an ax.

  14. Jaysyn was banned for: says:

    “Proud memeber of the 15% that Eharmony can’t do anything for.”

    Seriously though, I think they blow you off if you tell them you are agnostic or atheist.

  15. madanthony says:

    Ehh, I’ve tried a bunch of the dating sites (match, eharmony, plentyoffish, okcupid, justsayhi, ect). Of them, eHarmony seems to be the best. Can’t say I’ve met the love of my life there, or even gotten an actual date, but I’ve gotten more out of it than I have out of the other site.

    Their “steps of communication” is cheesy, but it does encourage you to communicate since you can start off with some prewritten questions instead of trying to figure out how to write a lengthy email to someone who you don’t know and who may never read it, and the matches I get seem to be gainfully employed, not suicidal, and have hobbies that go beyond drinking and passing out, which is more than I can say about some of the other dating sites.

  16. thrillwill says:

    Hey guys,

    Just wanted to say thanks for all the positive feedback… really made my day.

    We’ve got another parody for Viagra which you can find here.



  17. KarmaChameleon says:

    @Jaysyn: Ha, I did the free profile for shits and giggles myself and got that “we can’t do anything for you” response.

    We need an eHarmony, but for selfish, amoral sluts.

  18. KarmaChameleon says:

    @KarmaChameleon: Also, I’m Pagan and bisexual, so that might have been it too.

  19. Tankueray says:

    @Jaysyn: I’m agnostic and they let me in. Haven’t had any of the matches get past the “open communication” stage, but meh. I’m just going to let my subscription expire. Maybe Consumerist should have a dating function on its site. There are plenty of commenters I’m interested in.

  20. Looseneck says:

    I met my husband 4 years ago on Yahoo’s site. You have to be patient and talk to a lot of people. I’ve gone back and looked once in a while and the same people are STILL looking for love (or one-night stands)

  21. chrisbacke says:

    I can haz gerlfrend? LOL Great job – I’ll check out the Viagra when I get home

  22. psyop63b says:

    For some reason I’m having trouble with metacafé. Here’s a youtube link if anyone needs it: