Geek Squad's Abominable Service Inspires Poem

Now listen to a story bout a gal named Moo.
Her display broke and she didn’t know what to do.
She took it to Best Buy to try the Geek Squad
The next month or so had her praying to God.

“It’s the monitor!” They said, so sure of themselves.
So she sent it off to be fixed by the Best Buy elves.
“Come and get it!” They called! She was filled with delight.
She brings her monitor home, but something isn’t right.

It’s having the same problem as it had before.
They said they fixed it. They said they were sure.
Back to Best Buy! She goes in a flash.
She buys a different wire with her hard earned cash.

Hooray! It’s fixed, albeit not right.
The monitor doesn’t make it through the night.
In the midst of her problems, she begins to weep.
Her computer won’t start. All it does is beep.

Back to Best Buy, for the third time.
She hands her computer to the Geek Squad slime.
“It just beeps at me.” She says with a sigh.
And of course the Geek Squad doesn’t know why.

Now her computer is sent off for repair,
as stuff piles up on her unused computer chair.
She waits and she waits for it to come back,
Before her chair turns into a clothes rack.

A phone call. “Hello?” It’s about time they called.
Her computer was back, and so ass she hauled.
She drove mighty quickly to that Best Buy store.
She got her computer, and bust out the door.

Home again! Home again! She arrives in a hurry.
She has a strange feeling, and she starts to worry.
She hooks up the wires, and turns her computer on.
Hooray! It works! She could burst into song!

But that’s not the end of this really long story.
The repair shop has the attention span of Dory.
All is well, or so it seems like it might be.
Until she tries to play her Sweeney Todd CD.

She ejects the tray, and pops her CD in.
She sits and she waits for the music to begin.
“What’s this?” She feels as if she could bawl.
Her CD drive isn’t showing up at all.

She sighs a deep sigh as she opens her case.
Then she groans when she sees what was left out of place.
Her blood boils as the repairman she wish she could diss.
It’s something that not just anyone could miss.

A loose wire was hanging. Quite obviously too.
Even a small child would know what to do.
She fixes it and sets her computer back onto the shelf.
“Next time my computer is broken,” she says, “I’ll fix it MYSELF.”

The lesson of the story is, in so many words.
Geek Squad is laughable. They’re not real nerds.
So unless you feel like wishing you were dead…
Don’t go to Geek Squad, find a REAL geek instead.

— Kristi Lynn Cobden