Delta To Ask Northwest To The Prom, United And Continental May Drunkenly Hook Up

Here’s the state of the airline merger party.

It’s pretty much agreed that Delta and Northwest will merge. Yeah we called it. It was tough, too. The fact that Delta hired CEO Richard “Anybody Wanna Buy An Airline?” Anderson, formerly the CEO of Northwest, made it like, really hard to tell which airline they wanted to merge with.

The media is also saying that the Delta/Northwest alliance made United Airlines jealous and insecure, and that airline may rush into sleeping with Continental airlines. Previously, United and Continental had talked about getting serious, but just couldn’t figure out where they wanted to live and who would be the boss.

There’s also a tragic story behind all this Valentine’s airline love, Mr. Merger, Doug “I’m OK to Drive” Parker seems to be left out in cold. Doug attempted a hostile takeover of Delta last year. His bid ultimately failed, and he was arrested for drunk driving a few hours later.

Won’t someone find an airline for Doug to love?

Delta-NWA, Continental-United mergers may be close, reports say [USAToday]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.