Toys Are Super Dangerous!

We can probably all agree that there haven’t been enough tainted-toy stories this year, so the Wall Street Journal is reporting that tests on about 1,200 toys by consumer and health organizations have revealed that about a third contain not just lead but “other potentially harmful chemicals, including mercury, cadmium and arsenic.” Oh, they must be talking about the new Bratz Heavy Metal dolls, R’senic and Mercurie.

Certain toys had more than five times the standard safety level, including a Hannah Montana card-game case, which had a lead level of 3,056 parts per million, the Journal said.

How sad is it that when we first read this article, we thought to ourselves, “Is this really newsworthy at this point?”

“Many toys in test have dangerous chemicals: WSJ” [Reuters]
(Photo: chefjancris)


Edit Your Comment

  1. DrGirlfriend says:

    Arsenic?? Why would that be in a toy?

  2. HeyThereKiller says:

    @DrGirlfriend: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

  3. scoopy says:

    I hate toys.

  4. warf0x0r says:


    nuff said.

  5. TheTick says:

    @DrGirlfriend: According to wikipedia, arsenic based compounds have been used in green pigments, probably something to do with that. Also there’s that whole arsenic-treated wood thing.

  6. mupethifi says:

    all thats left are clothes. i hated getting those.

  7. SaveMeJeebus says:

    @TheTick: When I worked at Chase-Pitkin I was trained to tell skeptics of PT wood that they would have to eat an entire 2x12x8 plank to get poisoned.

  8. Jeff_McAwesome says:

    NOOO!! Not the Hannah Montana playing card case! Anything but that!

    You have failed me Disney channel.

  9. CityGuySailing says:

    You do realize that you would have to literally EAT a dozen of the toys (broken down into powder to make it edible) to have them have ANY effect on you, as a result of toxic chemicals, don’t you? It’s the dose that makes the poison.

  10. DrGirlfriend says:

    @HeyThereKiller: Kind of like Rasputin. Well, until that last gunshot.

    @TheTick: Interesting..thanks for the info.

  11. Monkey4Sale says:

    For fucks sake people, there is mercury in our drinking water. We drink mercury everyday. There is lead everywhere, there are harmful chemicals at every turn. We are not going to die, our children are not going to die. Because one child gets sick doesn’t mean all children will get sick. Immunosupressed individuals don’t make up the majority. Stop freaking out already.

  12. Cowboys_fan says:

    There is a much more in-depth article here; []

    What stuns me is lead requirements are only for paint, so some of the toys themselves have way more lead. Not only that but only 1/5 of toys DON’T have any of these chemicals!
    I think is is newsworthy!

  13. Comeaja says:

    I dont think anyone just realized that we were just told we have a really, really good chance of buying loved ones some arsenic for christmas.

    I’m sure uncle Henry would love some mercury for the holidays.

  14. girly says:

    The effects on the economy couldn’t really stop us,
    but just a spoonful of toxins helps foreign toy revenues go down, in the most frightful/delightful (?) way.

  15. bunnymen says:

    Glad I don’t know any kids (and imposed an “I am a grownup and will no longer display toys” rule in my home years ago).

  16. Electroqueen says:

    @CityGuySailing: I think that’s what our children are doing.

  17. TechnoDestructo says:


    Toys are not for displaying, they are for playing with.

    And just because you’re grown up does NOT mean you should deny yourself toys!

  18. Monkey4Sale says:

    News flash! There is Arsenic in apples, oh god we are all going to die…. You are all freaking out for no good reason.