Retire Early By Suing Google For Anything

You’re likely reading The Consumerist in the middle of a workday, so we’re guessing you’re receptive to new ideas on how to make lots of money fast without actually doing any work. Here’s a great way: just make up some reason to sue Google.

For example, last week a 25-year-old Pennsylvanian filed a lawsuit against Google because his social security number spells a scrambled version of “Google” when turned upside down, and consequently his safety is in jeopardy. He’s asking for $5 billion in damages. His handwritten complaint also states quite clearly that not only is his right to privacy being violated, but that “Plaintiff and defendant(s) have a responsibility to fight the War on Terrorism.”

Or here’s another example: sue Google and Yahoo for stealing their names from your grandparents, who hailed from the Gogo and Yao tribes of Tanzania, like someone in Texas did last week.

See? It’s easy. Here are some more ideas to help get you started:

  • I thought Google was a palindrome but it turns out it isn’t (this one smells like class-action).
  • Google’s ads are not always for products or services I am interested in.
  • Google is a euphemism for my genitalia, and therefore has caused me millions of dollars worth of humiliation.
  • Google gave me diabetes.

“What’s in Google’s Name?” [New York Times Bits Blog]