Listen to these calls and you’ll understand why Dell has a long way to go with their customer service: because people are stupid and don’t work a voice tree like they’re supposed to. It doesn’t help that once this customer finally gets a person, in hardware, he transfers her to a tech support line with a busy signal.

Tech Support Call

Customer Satisfaction Survey Call

Don’t say “what part of no don’t you understand” and expect the system to understand. If you’re going to vent your anger, at least mash zero heavily. That might actually get you somewhere.

For Dell’s part, they should reduce the amount of errors before transferring to a human. And that human should be a skilled operator, not Jimmy down in parts.

Transcript inside…

Anatomy of an Unhappy Customer [VocaLabs]

CALL 1

Person: It’s safer that way.
Voiceover: Welcome to Dell, your call may be recorded.
Person: Okay, here you’re going to be on Dell now-
Voiceover: If you know the seven digit extension you’d like to reach.
Person: Wait.
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No. Online tech support.
Voiceover: Sorry, I didn’t understand.
Person: Tech support.
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No.
Voiceover: I still didn’t understand.
Person: What about “no” don’t you understand?
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No.
Voiceover: My mistake again. If you’re unsure, say help, or press star. Otherwise please say “order status” or press 1, “make a purchase” or press 2, “technical support” or press 3-
Person: Technical support.
Voiceover: Okay, technical support. To get you to the right technician I need your product’s express service code. If you’re calling about a Dell product, this number is located on a label next to the words “express service code.” It has no letters or dashes. Please say or key in the express service code, or say “help me find it.”
Person: I don’t have it.
Voiceover: Alright, are you calling about a product that has the Dell logo on it?
Person: I have the order number.
Voiceover: If your product has the Dell name on it, say “yes”.
Person: Yes.
Voiceover: Okay, is this product for personal or business use?
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: Please say if the product is mainly for personal or business use.
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: With a little more information I’ll be able to connect you to the agent that can best help you.
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: Let’s try one more time.
Person: No.
Voiceover: Please say if the product is mainly for personal or business use.
Person: Operator…I can’t wait to fill out this survey. Good grief.
Operator: Thank you for calling Dell Hardware Warranty Support. My name is Bill, how can I help you?
Person: Hi, is this, I need 24/7 tech support.
Operator: You’ve reached hardware support right now.
Person: Well I can’t help it that the automated voice message machine couldn’t understand me. But I need tech support on my computer, on my laptop.
Operator: Okay, this is, like I mentioned desktop too. Could you give me the service tag? I could transfer you ma’am.
Person: I can give you the order number.
Operator: Okay.
Person: 401541258
Operator: Okay. Give me just one moment.
Person: (Not to operator)Do you only have tech support for 30 days? That’s what I thought.
Operator: You haven’t received the system yet?
Person: What would make you assume that? I said I needed tech support for my laptop.
Operator: Oh. Right now I just pulled up the account, company 29-
Person: I have the computer, it’s just not working. I need tech support to help me make it work.
Operator: Yes, I understood you ma’am.
Person: It sounded like you didn’t if you thought I hadn’t received it.
Operator: I’m sorry.
Person: I’m sorry too. Let’s just get this done. Could you transfer me?
Operator: Absolutely.
*soothing hold music*
Person: (Not to operator) Me too. What CD? She didn’t return them.
Voiceover: Please wait.
*dial tone*CALL 1

Person: It’s safer that way.
Voiceover: Welcome to Dell, your call may be recorded.
Person: Okay, here you’re going to be on Dell now-
Voiceover: If you know the seven digit extension you’d like to reach.
Person: Wait.
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No. Online tech support.
Voiceover: Sorry, I didn’t understand.
Person: Tech support.
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No.
Voiceover: I still didn’t understand.
Person: What about “no” don’t you understand?
Voiceover: Make a purchase, is that correct?
Person: No.
Voiceover: My mistake again. If you’re unsure, say help, or press star. Otherwise please say “order status” or press 1, “make a purchase” or press 2, “technical support” or press 3-
Person: Technical support.
Voiceover: Okay, technical support. To get you to the right technician I need your product’s express service code. If you’re calling about a Dell product, this number is located on a label next to the words “express service code.” It has no letters or dashes. Please say or key in the express service code, or say “help me find it.”
Person: I don’t have it.
Voiceover: Alright, are you calling about a product that has the Dell logo on it?
Person: I have the order number.
Voiceover: If your product has the Dell name on it, say “yes”.
Person: Yes.
Voiceover: Okay, is this product for personal or business use?
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: Please say if the product is mainly for personal or business use.
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: With a little more information I’ll be able to connect you to the agent that can best help you.
Person: Operator.
Voiceover: Let’s try one more time.
Person: No.
Voiceover: Please say if the product is mainly for personal or business use.
Person: Operator…I can’t wait to fill out this survey. Good grief.
Operator: Thank you for calling Dell Hardware Warranty Support. My name is Bill, how can I help you?
Person: Hi, is this, I need 24/7 tech support.
Operator: You’ve reached hardware support right now.
Person: Well I can’t help it that the automated voice message machine couldn’t understand me. But I need tech support on my computer, on my laptop.
Operator: Okay, this is, like I mentioned desktop too. Could you give me the service tag? I could transfer you ma’am.
Person: I can give you the order number.
Operator: Okay.
Person: 401541258
Operator: Okay. Give me just one moment.
Person: (Not to operator)Do you only have tech support for 30 days? That’s what I thought.
Operator: You haven’t received the system yet?
Person: What would make you assume that? I said I needed tech support for my laptop.
Operator: Oh. Right now I just pulled up the account, company 29-
Person: I have the computer, it’s just not working. I need tech support to help me make it work.
Operator: Yes, I understood you ma’am.
Person: It sounded like you didn’t if you thought I hadn’t received it.
Operator: I’m sorry.
Person: I’m sorry too. Let’s just get this done. Could you transfer me?
Operator: Absolutely.
*soothing hold music*
Person: (Not to operator) Me too. What CD? She didn’t return them.
Voiceover: Please wait.
*dial tone*
Person: Oh great, they transferred me to a number that’s just going da-da-da-da-da.

CALL 2

Person: Hello?
Operator: Hello, uh this is Sharon calling with a survey for Vocalabs. Did you call Dell a few minutes ago?
Person: I did. It was the most horrible experience I’ve ever had and I’m never going to call that number again.
Operator: Oh my.
Person: I’m not, I’m not. The guy that I got when I finally got through was as dumb as the guy that I got that was on the, uh, the system- what’s it called- the automated system. That couldn’t understand me for anything it got so disgusting. I had to just keep saying “operator”, I finally got transferred over to the operator and I talked to him and he had-it was a terrible experience. I’m so upset, ask me your questions so I could answer them for you.
Operator: Well I’m going to ask several yes-no questions and then at the end I can take down any other comments you have.
Person: Oh I hope you took down what I already said, I don’t even want to think about it, but go ahead!
Operator: We are recording this call to make sure we get all of your answers right.
(overlapping)
Person: Oh good, God bless you. I’m real happy hearing that. You know it finally got to the point where he was going to transfer me to tech support, so he finally transfer me after like, I don’t know, five minutes of bantering, he transfers me to a line that’s busy. And I can’t get back to him to get transferred again. And I’m like okay, hanging up now. God, thanks for helping me vent.
Operator: Well my first question is- did you accomplish what you wanted to do on this call?
Person: Absolutely not.
Operator: Did you speak to a person on this call? And I know that you did.
Person: Yes. Finally.
Operator: Did you have any difficulties in reaching a live person?
Person: Yes.
Operator: Did the person or people you spoke to have the right skills and training?
Person: I wouldn’t know so I’m assuming not, no.
Operator: Okay. Did you have any problems using the automated systems on this call?
Person: Yes.
Operator: Overall, were you satisfied with the level of customer service you received on this call?
Person: Absolutely not.
Operator: Did you feel strongly about the way you were treated on this call?
Person: Did I feel strongly? Yes I did.
Operator: Would you recommend Dell to friends or colleagues who are looking for good customer service?
Person: I’d recommend the product, not the customer service, so I’m assuming the specific answer is no. The products are great but that service sucked. Sorry.
Operator: Did you have any other particular comments about this call?
Person: Well, you know, other than the ones that I’ve already said- do I need to reiterate them or can they go back? Or should I reiterate them?
Operator: It’d be nice if you could reiterate them.
Person: Yeah it’d be easier on you, wouldn’t it, okay- Yeah, they need to make their automated service more English intelligible. I’m an English grammar major, that’s why I talk like I do when I get specific. They need to make it more grammatically correct. They need to give it more of a vocabulary so it understands a little more than yes and no. Okay. When somebody says, “I need tech support,” it doesn’t need to come back and say, “Do you need tech support?”. What about “I need tech support,” do you not get? You know what I’m saying? And that’s just one of the problems with the unintelligible language. It has a language problem, it’s not large enough. It needs a larger vocabulary, okay? Then, when you get transferred to an operator, they need to be a little more knowledgable with the type of department. When I first got on the phone with a live operator I gave him my order number, and he said, and he pulled it up and he said, “And you haven’t received a product yet?” I said, “Now what would make you assume I haven’t received a product? I’m calling for tech support, obviously on a product I got.” So, I don’t know if there’s a problem with what he’s reading, with his lack of knowledge, or whatever, but they’ve got some problems there and I’m just really not impressed. So, I just, thank you for letting me share that with you. And I never did get to the tech support department that I needed to go through, so after this now I’m going to have to hang up and call a direct line to tech support, thank god I have that, otherwise we’d never get through because I have a problem with getting online on the laptop. And I’m done now, thank you for letting me share that with you. And I really do love Vocalab.
Operator: We appreciate that-
Person: I know you do, you guys have a great holiday season.
Operator: Finally, Vocalab posts some of the recordings of customer service calls and surveys to its public website in order to highlight both good and bad customer service. Can we have your permission to post the recording of your call to Dell and the survey to Vocalab’s website?
Person: I would love them to do that. Dell needs to know that I very much love the product. I love Dell computers. We bought a laptop and a desktop. I love the computers, I just, I’m not real impressed with the customer service at this time. You know, I do love the products, but as for customer service, I’m sorry.

— BEN POPKEN
Person: Oh great, they transferred me to a number that’s just going da-da-da-da-da.

CALL 2

Person: Hello?
Operator: Hello, uh this is Sharon calling with a survey for Vocalabs. Did you call Dell a few minutes ago?
Person: I did. It was the most horrible experience I’ve ever had and I’m never going to call that number again.
Operator: Oh my.
Person: I’m not, I’m not. The guy that I got when I finally got through was as dumb as the guy that I got that was on the, uh, the system- what’s it called- the automated system. That couldn’t understand me for anything it got so disgusting. I had to just keep saying “operator”, I finally got transferred over to the operator and I talked to him and he had-it was a terrible experience. I’m so upset, ask me your questions so I could answer them for you.
Operator: Well I’m going to ask several yes-no questions and then at the end I can take down any other comments you have.
Person: Oh I hope you took down what I already said, I don’t even want to think about it, but go ahead!
Operator: We are recording this call to make sure we get all of your answers right.
(overlapping)
Person: Oh good, God bless you. I’m real happy hearing that. You know it finally got to the point where he was going to transfer me to tech support, so he finally transfer me after like, I don’t know, five minutes of bantering, he transfers me to a line that’s busy. And I can’t get back to him to get transferred again. And I’m like okay, hanging up now. God, thanks for helping me vent.
Operator: Well my first question is- did you accomplish what you wanted to do on this call?
Person: Absolutely not.
Operator: Did you speak to a person on this call? And I know that you did.
Person: Yes. Finally.
Operator: Did you have any difficulties in reaching a live person?
Person: Yes.
Operator: Did the person or people you spoke to have the right skills and training?
Person: I wouldn’t know so I’m assuming not, no.
Operator: Okay. Did you have any problems using the automated systems on this call?
Person: Yes.
Operator: Overall, were you satisfied with the level of customer service you received on this call?
Person: Absolutely not.
Operator: Did you feel strongly about the way you were treated on this call?
Person: Did I feel strongly? Yes I did.
Operator: Would you recommend Dell to friends or colleagues who are looking for good customer service?
Person: I’d recommend the product, not the customer service, so I’m assuming the specific answer is no. The products are great but that service sucked. Sorry.
Operator: Did you have any other particular comments about this call?
Person: Well, you know, other than the ones that I’ve already said- do I need to reiterate them or can they go back? Or should I reiterate them?
Operator: It’d be nice if you could reiterate them.
Person: Yeah it’d be easier on you, wouldn’t it, okay- Yeah, they need to make their automated service more English intelligible. I’m an English grammar major, that’s why I talk like I do when I get specific. They need to make it more grammatically correct. They need to give it more of a vocabulary so it understands a little more than yes and no. Okay. When somebody says, “I need tech support,” it doesn’t need to come back and say, “Do you need tech support?”. What about “I need tech support,” do you not get? You know what I’m saying? And that’s just one of the problems with the unintelligible language. It has a language problem, it’s not large enough. It needs a larger vocabulary, okay? Then, when you get transferred to an operator, they need to be a little more knowledgable with the type of department. When I first got on the phone with a live operator I gave him my order number, and he said, and he pulled it up and he said, “And you haven’t received a product yet?” I said, “Now what would make you assume I haven’t received a product? I’m calling for tech support, obviously on a product I got.” So, I don’t know if there’s a problem with what he’s reading, with his lack of knowledge, or whatever, but they’ve got some problems there and I’m just really not impressed. So, I just, thank you for letting me share that with you. And I never did get to the tech support department that I needed to go through, so after this now I’m going to have to hang up and call a direct line to tech support, thank god I have that, otherwise we’d never get through because I have a problem with getting online on the laptop. And I’m done now, thank you for letting me share that with you. And I really do love Vocalab.
Operator: We appreciate that-
Person: I know you do, you guys have a great holiday season.
Operator: Finally, Vocalab posts some of the recordings of customer service calls and surveys to its public website in order to highlight both good and bad customer service. Can we have your permission to post the recording of your call to Dell and the survey to Vocalab’s website?
Person: I would love them to do that. Dell needs to know that I very much love the product. I love Dell computers. We bought a laptop and a desktop. I love the computers, I just, I’m not real impressed with the customer service at this time. You know, I do love the products, but as for customer service, I’m sorry.

— BEN POPKEN

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