We are retarded.

Last week, enraged because we had nothing to write about and someone kept IMing us over and over, we slammed our fist on our desk. Actually, onto our cellphone on the desk.

The inside screen was all cracked out and really hard to read. Woe is us, right?

Nope. We have cellphone insurance with Asurion!

Yesterday, we went to phoneclaim.com, and answered a series of questions with complete honesty. We literally told them that we smashed our cellphone with our fist. Within moments, after agreeing to a $50 deductible, our claim was approved.

This morning, our replacement phone arrived. Now we have to do is take both phones to the Verizon store, and get our contacts transferred. Then we’ll put the old phone in the box, affix the provided shipping label, and call DHL for a pickup.

Asurion’s insurance covers just about every damage, even water damage, as long as it’s not cosmetic. You’re even covered for theft. 5.99 x 12 = 71.88 + 50 = 121.88 = Much cheaper than signing a new two year contract to get a new phone.

Ergo, cellphone insurance is a smart move if you’re a dumbass like us. You can ask your cellphone provider about if if you’re interested.

Inside, a big juicy picture of our cracked cellphone screen. — BEN POPKEN

Score.

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