Dear Pantene Pro V Conditioner

Every so often, Tom writes consumer product divisions. The results are always a fascinating look at how little effect sarcasm has upon major corporations.

    Dear Pantene Pro V Conditioner,

    First of all, let me say how much I enjoy your product. Pantene Pro V Conditioner gets rid of pesky tangles and leaves my hair touchably soft. Huzzah!

    I do have a minor quibble. The bottle says Pantene makes hair “up to 85 percent shinier.” But, under the right conditions, my hair is actually 90 to 95 percent shinier after using Pantene. I have taken “before” and “after” photographs as proof (I would be happy to send these to you).

    Please let me know. Shine on!

    All the best,


    Thanks for taking the time to share such kind words! Your reaction is just what we hoped for — I can’t wait to share your comments with the rest of our team.

    Thanks again for writing!

    P&G Team

CONSUMER E-MAIL: Pantene Pro V [Minor Tweaks]


Edit Your Comment

  1. Tim Matheson says:

    That is because they are corporate drones. Also Pantene will ruin your hair just ask any 20 somthing girl working at your local Super Cuts.

  2. formergr says:

    I’ve always been told that it’s bad for your hair by hairdressers– they say it builds up so much over time you’ll be worse off in the end.

    But none have ever been able to give me a straight answer about what happens if you periodically alternate it with a clarifying shampoo (which removes buildup).

    So I’ve started to think it’s just a ploy by them to get you to buy the salon stuff at 3 times the price.

  3. Mr. Gunn says:

    Somebody get this guy on the “52% closer shave” thing.

  4. Phyllis Nefler says:

    Minor Tweaks is one of my favorite blogs. Lately he hasn’t been writing the consumer products divisions as much as he used to so I’m glad to see them again!

    I also love it when he (and all his readers) write Amazon book reviews – absolutely hilarious.

  5. segfault, registered cat offender says:

    Despite previous Consumerist advice to the contrary, Pantene Pro V is also very effective for shampooing cats.

  6. LTS! says:

    Interestingly, you now see the Paul Mitchell commercials claiming the same thing the salon claims around here. That the local supermarket is selling counterfeit version of haircare products and that only the salon has the real thing.

    So the packaging is the same, the name is the same, but it’s a counterfeit product and major grocery stores are selling it? Wouldn’t that be some kind of illegal? Consumerist.. can you check on that? :)

  7. AlteredBeast (blaming the OP one article at a time.) says:

    Despite previous Consumerist advice to the contrary, Pantene Pro V is also very effective for shampooing cats.

    Good idea! I’ve been wondering how to get my cat up to 85% shinier.

  8. curlyheatherg says:

    Formergr: I recall being told that pantene’s particular wax is very, very hard to remove completely. I think I heard this from a hairdresser friend not trying to sell me something…perhaps true, perhaps a hairdresser urban legend!

  9. tspack says:

    A local columnist I read did this by phone quite some time ago. It’s hilarious:

  10. Nancy Sin says:

    Many hairdressers have warned me of the dangers of coating my hair with wax via Pantene, only to twirl around and try and upsell me on a $28 tub of some fancy smelling styling wax.

    Tom is hilarious. I was totally waiting for him to disclose that he had been bald since 19, but if he DID have hair…

  11. kerry says:

    LTS –
    It’s not that they’re counterfeit, it’s that they’re illegally selling the real thing. I think somehow some stores get salon products through a wholesaler using gray market tactics. I knew a legit, independent pharmacy that sold Aveda products, even though I doubt those sales were approved by Aveda. Your supermarket which sells Paul Mitchell is selling the real thing, just without permission from the company.

  12. Luxy says:

    LTS: It is unethical for drugstores and grocery stores to sell professional salon products, but not illegal. They also tend to be marked up more than in a salon. My mum is a former hairdresser and she says the quality cannot be guaranteed unless they are licensed to sell them.

    more info:….

  13. He says:

    Patene stops my hair from falling out as quickly. I tested it by going two weeks with it and two weeks with head & shoulders. It was very noticeable. The generic CVS version is just as good, half the cost, but contains perfume.

  14. Pantene stinks. Literally. It gives me a migraine if I smell someone who uses it.

  15. Katie says:

    I just love the whole “build up” line. It doesn’t matter what product I’m using, be it a salon brand or a drugstore one. If it’s not from a brand or line that particular salon carries, I’m inevitably told by the stylist that it’s awful for my hair because of “build up.” Or, if I mention I do use a clarifying rinse once a week, then that product is doomed be singled out by the stylist as something that is stripping my hair. Which is pretty damn amusing when I’m using stuff that another equally qualified stylist had recommended.

    Funny idea for the letter. You can’t help but wonder how these companies decide to arrive upon their psuedo-stats. Garnier is all wrapped up in a class-action lawsuit now because of their ads’ psuedo-stat promises. If only they’d taken a page from Pantene and remembered to include the words “up to” blankety-blank percent.

  16. The pics offer takes the cake.

  17. krunk4ever says:

    Reading what Tom wrote initially, I didn’t really feel it was that sarcastic (given that I didn’t know Tom). It just felt like an over-enthusiastic fan. However after reading more about Tom and what type of person he is, it’s clear he was being sarcastic.

    I’ve been a user of Pantene shampoo and conditioner for quite sometime and in my opinion (the conditioner at least) does in fact make my hair softer and less tangled. I’d say the same thing about Herbal Essences’ Intensive Blends. I’ve also switched it up between Fructus and Kirkland Signature, and although both are good shampoos/conditioners, my hair isn’t quite as soft after a shower.

    I don’t really have much of an idea what they’re doing to make my hair soft, and now that I’m reading that it leaves wax and other gunk behind, I might actually take a look and investigate this a bit more.

    Plus I’d take advice from someone who cuts hair at a Super Cuts or Great Clips (bargain salons) with a grain of salt.

    //krunk (^_^x)

  18. flyover says:

    what would be smart is for the salons to add at least a sample of the fancy stuff with a cut/color.

    After spending $200+ for a cut/color, there is NO way I can afford a $30 bottle of shampoo or other product.

    I use Frieda sheer Blonde, though it doesn’t seem to add much, and Pantene, which I’ve used for years & like, though primarily for its smell.