If you don’t want this to happen:

Try this:

That’s right, tie some fishing line around the strap, like a man. The kind of man your dad was. He hooked up crystal radios to his bed springs. He didn’t wait for Sleepy’s to issue an officially licensed bed spring patch.

It ain’t carved from Zelda’s hyperpolygnal ass and handed down by the hands of many small Japanese gods, but it’ll do the trick. — BEN POPKEN

Previously: Wii Breaks More TVs than Elvis

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