Random Halloween Shit

• Reader Max says it’s nigh impossible to buy candy corn in Manhattan.
• FTC recall of Flammable ‘Creepy Cape’ Costumes from Family Dollar. You can identify them by their plastic, please burn me look, and a sticker on the collar that says, “FLAME RETARDANT PVC.”
• If you’re stuck in a crush at the Halloween parade, a good way to escape is to elbow your way to the front and scooch under the police barrier. When the cop stops you and says, “Where do you think you’re going?” Exclaim, “We need to get out of here, it’s a medical emergency.” This really happened to us just a few hours ago. And dude in the suit who refused to move his arm, saying, “Hey man, I don’t know you,” nearly preventing our girlfriend from getting through, if we ever see you again, we’re punching your lights out.