The befuddled geezer, the diaper wearing octogenarian — these are great marks. Myopically peering through laser-concentrating spectacles, they never can see the fine print. Heck, you can get them to pretty much get granny to sign her entire life away, just by making soothing noises in response to her pigeon-like cooing about her monthly budget and maybe flashing her a flirtatious smile.

So why wouldn’t Carphone Warehouse, a UK company, want the business of the elderly? That’s what Shirley Greening-Jackson, a 75 year old woman who spends her time confidently strutting atop the ledge of China’s Great Wall, wants to know.

When she went into Carphone Warehouse to sign up for this crazy Internet thing her grandkids were talking about, a representative told her she couldn’t sign up. They don’t allow grannies to make purchases, apparently, because they can’t read the fine print. Hey, Carphone Warehouse! Make everyone happy and make that print bigger, then surround it in skulls and crossbones!

As Mrs. Greening-Jackson says, “Somebody has decided when you turn 70 you lose a lot of your mind. I find this is ridiculous.” Well, we don’t, but we’re smug punks throbbing with mid-20’s vim.

Sorry, you can’t have the internet… you’re over 70 [Daily Mail] (Thanks, Trae!)

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