We’ve obviously taken this American Apparel flipflop thing too far. Jumped the shark, and all that. So why not do another shot while writhing on the floor? Render the blackout a deeper shade of obsidian?

Here’s the actual source email proclaiming the removal of sweatshop flipflops (perhaps, well, they’re made in Thailand, which is definitely not vertically-integrated L.A.) from the stores’ floors.

“Dear All,

We bought only a few hundred of the flip flops to try out and see if our customer is interested in them at all. I think the “test” was somewhat misread as a weird move into outsourcing, which is not the case. To end all confusion, please: REMOVE THE FLIP FLOPS FROM THE FLOOR AND GIVE THEM AWAY FREE TO ANYONE WHO WANTS THEM. We are currently developing our own Made in Downtown LA flip flop that will be much cooler and less stinky! However, we’ll have to wait until next Spring for those.
Sorry for the misunderstanding. Please explain this to your staff and customers as well, if they are concerned.

And….thank you for your feedback! It’s very important.

Iris”

Is this the same Iris who professed a joy of dildos and reading The Collapse of the Common Good: How America’s Lawsuit Culture Undermines our Freedom?

Probably.