The Monkey Chow Diaries: Great Idea Over Curiously Lame Duration

“Can a human subsist on a constant diet of pelletized, nutritionally complete food like puppies and moneys do?” Well, if they are only eating it for a fucking week, they can.

We like the idea of The Monkey Chow Diaries: affable, deadpan Canadian eats nothing but monkey pellets, then releases entertaining video diaries every day, documenting his ordeal. He’s funny and we appreciate the experiment as an ironic commentary on the fast food monkey chow upon which we all largely subside.

But a week? Dude. Come on. This is the laziest, most half-assed execution of a good idea ever. I once refused to take a crap for a week, holding in the contents of my rumbling bowels with indomitable will alone. If I can do that and that idiot Morgan Spurlock can eat McDonald’s food three times a day for thirty days, a month on monkey chow is a cake walk.

The Monkey Chow Diaries (Thanks, Chuck!)

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  1. The Unicorn says:

    This post raised more questions than it answered, the most obvious being —

    Why in the hell did you refuse to crap for a week?

    A secondary question would be, And were you reading Ulysses at the time?

  2. mark duffy says:

    Eat it for a year and drink your own urine, then I’ll stop yawning.

  3. Paul D says:

    Again with the Spurlock-bashing.

    Seek help.

  4. Papercutninja says:

    I agree that he should go longer than a week. That’d really make an impact on his gastrointestinal system.

  5. Ben Popken says:

    This guy is a loser.

  6. ModerateSnark says:

    Thanks for correcting my lazy reading. I had skimmed this story on boingboing…….
    and saw the line “Imagine going to the grocery store only once every 6 months” and thought the guy was going to only eat monkey chow for 6 months.

    You’re right. One week is lame. And a big disappointment after I thought he was gonna do 6 months.

  7. Mary Marsala With Fries says:

    Hey, I totally concur — I’m starting my second experiment with the Uberman Sleep Schedule this month, because I got sick of the only information out there being people who did it for a week or a month or something silly. My first run was 6 months (but, um, I didn’t keep notes) — This one I’m hoping will go longer. How the heck can you tell if you’ve done irreparable damage to your DNA or your mind or what have you in only a week?? -MSL

    (P.S. The Uberman blog is at for the moment, if anybody cares.)