We reported last week that the SEC has subpoenaed Overstock.com. And we all already know that Overstock CEO Patrick Byrne is out of his flipping mind. Put those two facts together? This amazing press release straight from Overstock.com, titled (we swear to god!) “Overstock.com Celebrates Receipt of SEC Subpoena.”

Here’s an amazing gem from Patrick Byrne, on why Overstock is so exuberant that the feds have a battering ram at the company door:

“I may be the first CEO in history to celebrate receiving an SEC subpoena. Some of the requests suggest the whispering of the blackguards, but I remain unconcerned about their hokum. In truth, I am gratified to see that the SEC is looking into the issues about which I have been speaking: I believe our capital markets are broken in a deep way, our system of corporate voting and governance is a hoax, the savings of Americans are being drained through our financial system’s fissure of unsettled trades, and the system appears to be cracking around Overstock.com (of course, I could be proved wrong if they would force the settlement of, or even reveal the size of, all unsettled trades in OSTK, which I believe number from 7 to 30 million shares). While some of the miscreants file frivolous delaying motions, and others schmooze with hedge funds and write what they are told to write (yet call themselves ‘journalists’ to shield their perfidy behind the First Amendment), I on the other hand applaud the SEC’s actions and eagerly anticipate my chance to get these issues into court.”

We assume he’ll be defending himself, wearing a bathrobe, no underpants and a beer foam party hat while whisking a plastic toy light saber dramatically about the courtroom to illustrate his points.

Previously:

• SEC Sticks Subpoena To Overstock
• SEC Tells Agents to “Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself”
• Overstock.com’s CEO Patrick Byrne ‘Perhaps’ is an Ogre
• Overstock.com Actually Understocked, Manned by Soulless Robots
• Overstock.com’s Patrick Byrne Leaks Own Interview
• Overstock.com’s Patrick Byrne: Not Gay, Not Coked Out, Not a Jedi

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