The inimitable Onion peels back another layer of airline customer service and bares the soul of humanity. That’s fillet of sole, of course, reheated and served in a hermetically sealed container, for $8.99.

“MUMBAI–Air India, the subcontinent’s largest airline, announced it will offer upgraded Business Caste seating on all flights starting in July. “More legroom, wider seats–and no need to associate with the manual laborers,” a spokesman for the airline said Tuesday. “Our business travelers must have lived good past lives to deserve this.” Air India still ranks at the bottom of the airline industry in customer satisfaction, with a high volume of complaints about cooking fires in the climate-uncontrolled cabins, wandering cows that flight attendants refuse to remove, and the “Untouchable” Coach Caste, which is towed behind Air India jetliners in a giant burlap sack.”

And what about America? INDIANOLOPIS — Northwest Airlines announces it will offer Middle Class seating on all flights starting in May, after the kids are out of school. 75% of its flights will be dedicated to servicing Lake Tahoe. For increased privacy and security, the unique service tier boasts white picket fences surrounding each traveler’s seat.

[The Onion via Upgrade: Travel Better]

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