Travel Alert: Bahamas Kill!

TRAVELERS, BEWARE! There is a travel advisory in effect for all the Bahaman islands. Unconfirmed reports detail sectarian violence against tourists. The State Department advises rescheduling plans to visit. Any and all Americans on the islands should report to their nearest ivory helicopter, immediately. Don’t be fooled by the guys on the beach offering to get you “high,” the effect is merely psychological and will not assist your departure, although it may blunt how your perception of your impending doom. Here is the document upon which the State Department based its advisory:

Please also note the fortuitous picture of the black man with the large death-stick standing behind the white man. You can bet dimes to doughnuts that the white man’s death stick is much, much smaller.

Snapped from a New York City subway poster prior to meeting up with team Gawker for a late night of bowling with a pile of other media whores.


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  1. sean says:

    This past January I took a Carnival Cruise down to to the Bahamas. While in Nassau my wife and I were walking on the beach within sight of the ship at 3:00 pm on a beautiful day when some kid tried to steal her purse. I jumped him and ended up getting stabbed in the back. The Nassau cops told me it occurs occasionally when the kids “come over the hill”. The emergency room doctor said it happens a lot. She suggested if I want to come to the Bahamas I should go to one of the “Family” islands.

  2. jetta45 says:

    My brother who was living in the Bahamas for over 16 yers. He was kill when his house was set on fire… he die as a result, to date there is no known investigation. neither have i heard of any one been question on the matter.
    Its over a month and we are still waiting for justice
    its sad to know killing is OK and foreigners are a prey.

  3. jetta45 says:

    Maurice Allen was kill in the bahamas. his house was set on fire.
    todate no one had been question on the matter.
    Where is the justice system in the Bahamas?

  4. Anonymous says:

    Sad comments! With about 5 million tourist entering the Bahamas each year – one would have to expect some violence. On the other hand, I came to these shores 35 years ago (living and working in Nassau) – have not had a problem. Bahamians as a whole are soft hearted nice folks. I would not think of leaving these shores for another place.