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“Same employment practices as Wal-Mart. They just haven’t reached big enough scale to upset the underdog-worshippers out there,” said RaginCajun on submitting Target.

Airship on Walmart: “They kill small towns; they kill their own suppliers; they leach off the government for benefits for their employees; and they promote the idea that cheaper is better, no matter what the hidden costs.”

Who we’re voting for, plus talking points for you ignore while making your biased decision based on a purely emotional response, after the jump…

Previously:

• Round 3: Sprint vs. Verizon
• Round 2: H&R Block vs. US Postal Service
• Round 1: Halliburton vs. Monsanto
• Round 0: Competition Ladder

Allegedly, Target employees can refuse to fulfill your birth control prescription if the in-store pharmacist finds it morally objectionable. This may strike you as good if you
re a crib-crusher or evil if you
re a pussy-ass lifer.

Target.com wants to help you raise your GLBT children. Why? Because gays love Target and Target wants to help them breed a new generation of shoppers.

Not everyone gets the nice suburban tier of Targets, either. A nearby Target at the Brooklyn Atlantic center is dirty, confusing, and poorly stocked and managed. If cleanliness is next to godliness, and Target is dirty, Target is next to devilness, the devil is evil and so Target is evil.

Target’s been accused of kicking out the Salvation Army because they didn’t like the bell-ringers stance against gays and homosexuals. The company policy explains otherwise. They have removed the Red Army from the premises but it’s to provide a ‘distraction-free’ environment of consumer consumption. Target still donates money to the Salvation Army and allows shoppers, Nov 25-Jan 25, to vist Target.com/salvationarmy to purchase items to be donate to the SA. Not causing my ears to ring like a klaxon?

Evil.

Mitigating evil: Walmart today announced plans to loosen its requirements for employee health insurance. Waiting periods, now two years, will be reduced and part-time employees will be allowed to get their children on the health plan. You don’t get nothin’ for free, though. Children on their parent’s plan will be forced into free labor for Wal-Mart after the age of six. Hey, it’s what made China great.

Applying the Google Search Result test, we find “target is evil” returns 2,490,000 results and “walmart is evil,” 439,000 results. These numbers are completely spurious as some of the results don’t refer to Target the store, as in “Hammer of Righteousness deals 1d6 points of damage per caster level, or 1d8 points of damage per caster level if the target is evil…” [emphasis added].

We
re voting for Target. Why?
1) They
re the underdog.
2) They
re trying to be nice to everyone. A sure sign of evil.
3) Someone made an unsubstantiated claim that Target has unfair labor practices.
4) An ex-girlfriend, totally evil, was super fixated on Target. Ergo, Target is evil by association.

Down with ineffable evil.

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