We’re going to keep this short and sweet. Send us your best (aka ‘worst’) tales about your dealings with Starbucks as a customer. Do this because we say to do this and we exert a gym teacher-like capitulation over your judgement, but also because we will be giving a price of high irony to the person with the story dubbed most awful: a $500 gift card to Starbucks Coffee.

Gosh, we’re evil.

Here’s how it works. Leave a comment in this thread or send an email to us with your story. (If you send an email, please use the subject ‘Starbucks Contest’ so we can use a mail filter.) We’ll pick the stories we find to be the best, then let you all vote on them at the end of the week. If your collective choice matches our whimsy to allow you to actually select the winner, then you’ll have had a momentary distraction from your otherwise empty workday experience. (Okay, actually we really do want you to vote on the winner. We’re 99% sure this is technically possible, but we’ve never put up a poll before.)

This Friday, The Consumerist gives—we give so hard.

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