Gross Alert: Man Charged With Stealing $350,000 Worth Of Human Skin From A Hospital

Because what other picture would work with this story? (The.Comedian)

Because what other picture would work with this story? (The.Comedian)

First things first — make sure you’ve already ingested and digested your midday meal fully if you’re the squeamish type, or very much dislike Silence of the Lambs. Because a medical company sales representative has been charged with boosting more than $350,000 worth of human skin from a hospital over several years.

The 54-year-old man was arrested this week and charged with theft, receiving stolen property and tampering with records, reports the Associated Press. No word on whether arresting officials were all like, “Eww, seriously? Just eww.”

According to authorities, the man worked until September as a sales rep for a regenerative medicine firm, managing accounts for the bioscience department of a Philadelphia-area hospital. He was allowed to order as many skin grafts for the hospital whenever he wanted as part of that job.

But the hospital only needed a few grafts at the time, officials said, and he allegedly ordered up more than 200 without authorization between November 2011 through July of that year. The hospital didn’t receive them, so authorities eventually went looking for the missing skin.

Police say they don’t know why he allegedly stole the grafts, worth $1,700 each, or what became of them. A spokesman for his former employers says he would have had no use for human skin grafts as part of his job as a sales rep. But the fact remains that you can’t steal skin without some repercussions.

And here is where we all try to banish the thought of a human skin suit from our brains. Sorry, had to do it. You were warned.

Man charged with stealing human skin from hospital [Associated Press]