What little kid doesn’t dream of living in castles, being called lord or lady and having peons bow to your every whim? It’s a fantasy, unreachable for most of us commonfolk. Unless, like Consumerist reader Shawn, you venture to a local sports bar in Exton, Pa. Then you can get your very own regal title!

That is, as long as you don’t mind being Lord of the Douches, or as Shawn’s check name says, Douchelord. He seems to be okay with this new honorific bestowed on him by his server, noting, “Guess we can’t all be lords.”

Au contraire, dear Shawn. You ARE a lord, according to your server. Just perhaps not the kind you’d always envisioned. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade and embrace the rude people calling you names, or whatever. You know what I mean.

We reached out to the establishment for comment but haven’t heard back yet as to why this server felt the need to go around bestowing lord-doms on customers. We’ll let you know if anyone explains such treatment.

UPDATE: Shawn might be a special kind of lord, but it seems this treatment is prevalent at the sports bar, though it manifests itself in different ways. Reader Mike writes that this happens often, mostly to regulars. “But I don’t think it’s proper behavior,” he says. For the record, Mike? You’re not a loser, no matter what they say.

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