Police: Man Tried To Rob Banks While Brandishing Toilet Plunger

A toilet plunger isn’t a terrifying weapon to anyone but germaphobes, or maybe a child with nightmares of being chased by Daleks. Yet a man in Utica, NY thought that it made a terrifying enough weapon that he attempted to rob three different banks while threatening tellers with the plunger. None of the robberies were successful.

Police recovered the plunger from the last bank he visited, so the residents of the Mohawk Valley can rest easy, knowing this weapon won’t fall into the wrong hands.

UPD: Man attempted to rob three banks with a toilet plunger em>(Thanks, anti!)

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Grogey says:

    Boy consumerist loves central new york now.

    • Grogey says:

      Or should I word that Central New York loves Consumerist?

      • Laura Northrup says:

        It’s a hotbed of consumer wackiness right now, apparently.

        Also, I do love Central NY. I’m from Syracuse and went to college near Utica. I consider salt potatoes a food group. Less fond of chicken riggies though.

        • El_Cheapocabra says:

          Garbage plate FTW.

          • Grogey says:

            LoL a CNY meetup at a Nicky Doodles? That’s assuming you meant their garbage plate, there’s a couple places last I knew that have one.

          • kc2idf says:

            Is Rochester central? I always thought of it as western, seeing as it shared an area code with Buffalo back when I lived there in the 90’s.

        • Lisse24 says:

          Mmmm….Salt Potatoes. I lived in darkness without them for many, many years, and then I discovered that one could make them without a bag labelled ‘salt potatoes’ and now whenever there’s a cookout I’m always told to bring my potatoes, because my ‘secret’ recipe is so good!

    • Difdi says:

      It’s the new Florida.

  2. vastrightwing says:

    Time to horde toilet plungers now before they make them illegal!

    • MaxH42 thinks RecordStoreToughGuy got a raw deal says:

      They can have my toilet plunger when they pry it from my cold, wet fingers!!!

  3. bikeoid says:

    NRA: “Toilet plungers don’t rob banks, people rob banks”

  4. perruptor says:

    I have a glub.

  5. speaky2k says:

    Hoping for someone to make a Dalek joke after seeing the headline, and I’m not disappointed; it’s in the first line of the article.

    • redskull says:

      “Police describe the suspect as gun metal gray in color, approximately 5 feet tall, cylindrical, one eye, with lower body covered in large nodules. Prone to shrieking “EX-TER-MIN-ATE” in a loud, grating voice. Suspect is armed with a disintegration gun and what appears to be a standard toilet plunger, and is considered extremely dangerous. Citizens are warned not to approach suspect, and if confronted, to run up the nearest staircase.”

    • Southern says:

      I know I’m in the minority, but I hate episodes with the Daleks. I usually skip ‘em. They’re just so damn annoying, repeating everything 10 times.

    • Grogey says:

      What I love about those is when they show the plunger to the camera, you can see the head of the screw they used to secure it to the wooden dowel rode.

  6. El_Fez says:

    Comes for the Dalek joke, leaves satisfied. . . .

    • Laura Northrup says:

      I live to serve.

      You know, like the Ironsides.

      • El_Fez says:

        WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA?

        • NotEd says:

          EXTERMINIEREN! EXTERMINIEREN! HALT!
          SONST WERDEN WIR SIE EXTERMINIEREN!
          SIE SIND JETZT EIN GEFANGENER DER DALEKS!
          EXTERMINIEREN! EXTERMINIEREN!

          (Yes, I had to look that up. I just couldn’t come up with something banking related that rhymed with “exterminate,” OK?)

  7. DragonThermo says:

    Now Leftists are going to demand toilet plunger control. A 5-day waiting period and background check before purchasing a toilet plunger.

    When toilet plungers are outlawed, only outlaws will have toilet plungers!

    You can take my toilet plunger from my cold, dead fingers!

  8. chefboyardee says:

    I probably sound like a broken record, always noticing these major editing issues…and a spelling error here and there is understandable…but 3.5 hours with an obviously broken EM tag at the source link? Does nobody come back and look at these articles after they’re published?

  9. pythonspam says:

    How is this not a Florida story?

  10. HogwartsProfessor says:

    “A toilet plunger isn’t a terrifying weapon to anyone but germaphobes, or maybe a child with nightmares of being chased by Daleks.”

    That. Was. AWESOME.

  11. Bob Lu says:

    I am surprised that none of the robberies were successful. In my local bank there were several incidents that the robber got the money by simply showing the teller a piece of paper saying things like I am armed and I want money.

  12. Dagny Taggart says:

    It is obvious what happened here. This poor soul could not fix his own toilet and this is the only way he could afford to hire a plumber. Have you seen what they charge for a service call?

  13. IraAntelope says:

    I’ll bet he thought he would really clean up?