An amusing letter purporting to be from Cash4Gold telling a customer to please stop sending them gold-painted rocks and making filthy demands has been making the rounds (read it inside). But in statements exclusive to Consumerist, the company says it’s as genuine as pyrite. The letter’s creator has fessed up too.
“No, obviously the letter is a fake,” CEO Jeff Aronson told Consumerist with a chuckle. “We didn’t send it out. We have no customer by that name.”
By email, the artist, going by the name “Gregory Haberny,” explained to Consumerist his impetus for crafting the parody letter.
“They are extortion artists. I’m a conceptual artist. I beat them at their own game,” the prankster wrote Consumerist.
Last year, Consumerist investigated Cash4Gold. Cash4Gold sued Consumerist but eventually dropped the lawsuit.
The artist’s website has other similar epistles, supposedly from George Bush and MoMa, describing graphic acts and offensive statements they would like him to cease contacting them about.
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That is pretty funny.
Too late. 100,000 people have already sent in boxes of gold-painted rocks as a result of seeing this letter.
That’s awesome, though, because C4G had to pay the shipping on that.
I never even thought of it until now. Hmmm…might have to sign up for one of their free return packages. A terrible company deserves terrible things in return.
Indeed.
Streisand Effect FTW
Bad grammar aside, LOL
“No, obviously the letter is a fake,” CEO Jeff Aronson told Consumerist with a chuckle. “We didn’t send it out. We have no sense of humor here.”
“Good Evening, and welcome to ‘Bad Conceptual Art Playhouse’, I am your host, Leonard Pinth-Garnell.”
Aww, I am disappoint.
If you are going to create a fake letter, atleast use proper punctuation. But it was good for a chuckle or two.
I doubt Cash4Gold puts their outgoing correspondence through any type of rigorous editing.
Or maybe 1.5 chuckles..
If you are imitating someone you dislike, perhaps you want improper grammar.
I’m not sure how faking a letter means he “beat them at their own game.”
He wins when they pay untold amounts to ship rocks from all around the country to their processing facility.
But its fake, they didn’t pay any shipping…
But now thousands (millions?) of people have read his letter and may just send in their own gold painted rocks. Maybe that’s not what he was referring to in the letter, but it is a likely result.
I guess the ‘quadriplegic hooker’ didn’t catch anyone off guard.
It made me unexpectedly hot around the collar.
Nah, pretty standard for Tibetan pilgrimages. Never leave home without one.
Wait, people thought this was real?
I was thinking the same thing…
The structure of this letter is quite unprofessional and the phrases “quadriplegic hooker” and “ungreased, backdoor, Hammertime lovemaking session” would never appear in a company letter like this. This is definitely not how a CEO would draft a cease and desist letter.
Also, the lack of a proper signature (job title and contact information) is a dead give-a-way. All major companies have a format for email and letter signatures which this letter is clearly lacking.
I am not amused -_-
Actually, the CEO of Cash4Gold has been documented by Consumerist as a bit of a sleezy jerk, so the letter sounded more realistic to me.
Soooo…..You you the bait?
Yet you apparently do find the bunny amusing?
“ungreased, backdoor; Hammertime lovemaking session”
thats when one person wears parachute pants while the other screams “o, o, o, stop: hammertime”
at least it’s not “the hindenburg”…
I happen to think it look completely genuine considering the
reputation of Cash4Gold is pretty much septic sewer territory.
Wait, listen, my 4,000 lbs of river rock has arrived on my
front lawn and the Lowe’s delivery truck is unloading
150 gallons of gold paint and 10,000 zip lock bags…
Gotta get to work Jeffy-weffy.
What is the artists website?
http://www.suckerchump.com
Why didn’t I think of that????
Rob Cockerham beat this guy to it: http://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/goldkit/gold_kit.shtml
http://www.suckerchump.com
An obvious fake. Our hookers are paraplegic or better.
I love how the framed letter is resting on a chinese menu. Ill have the #8 with wonton soup.