Best Buy has rolled out its plans for the holiday season with a new study on “consumer behavior and the emergence of new social connections.” The upshot: Best Buy has discovered social networking, and has declared that it is “the consumer advocate in consumer electronics” because it helps people “find solutions for their needs and help them better understand the possibilities of all that we offer.” Gee, thanks, Best Buy!

How will Best Buy actually fulfill this new and important role? Based on the study, “Our World, Connected,” we’re not entirely sure. In the report, Best Buy refers to its Geek Squad agents as a “human social network.”

…a virtual human search engine with 160,000 uniquely trained Blue Shirts and 20,000 Geek Squad Agents who help consumers address their needs and better understand the possibilities of devices, content, connections and services.

Our Blue Shirts are trained to help customers zero in on the experience they want, allow them to test and try things, and advise them on how to best connect the various devices, content and people to enhance their lives. Our Geek Squad Agents provide resources for technical support anytime and anywhere it’s needed – 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. We offer the most convenient technology-support service available, with agents available in every Best Buy store, via house calls and online remote service.

How does Megglefish® translate this?

Margins on hardware suck. So, we’re gonna keep pumping out “services” like a $30 charge for updating your PS3’s firmware to help pay the rent. Geek Squad says “soon we won’t even need any devices,” so we’d better get busy finding something else to sell.

Oh, actually that part about not needing any devices wasn’t Megglefish. It really was Geek Squad founder Robert Stephens, opining in the Our World, Connected report. Yeah, get busy, boys.

Document – Best Buy Forecasts a Connected Christmas [Press Release/Study]

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