Mompetitors Make It Hard To Have Mom Friends

This is a great video that makes fun of “Mompetitors,” those crazy moms who are as addicted to their kids as they are to one-upping other moms about what superior moms they are. What makes it even better is that it was made by a stay at-home-mom.

The Mompetitor only cooks unprocessed organic foods, doesn’t vaccinate her kids so they don’t get autism, and no matter what date your kid reached a development milestone, her kid beat it by two months. Rear vs forward car seats? Organic c-sections? She’s got the best, most dedicated to her kids’ upbringing answer, because she read it on the internet.

A message from her announcing she is taking a break from making videos. Worth a watch simply for her threat to feed bad mommies “recalled Similac.”

Why I can’t make mom friends [mompetition]

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  1. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    Type A moms need to get laid and smoke a joint.

    • solipsistnation says:

      Can’t have sex with children in the house, even if they’re asleep 2 rooms away– what if they wake up and want a glass of water? Their little minds could be PERMANENTLY BLOWN.

      • CFinWV says:

        They’re probably co-sleeping with their kids.

        • hoi-polloi says:

          You can co-sleep and have sex. Just sayin’.

        • LadySiren is murdering her kids with HFCS and processed cheese says:

          Attachment parenting! Attachment parenting!

        • wonderkitty now has two dogs says:

          Co-sleeping is just a magic word for “I am going to make my kid bratty and co-dependent only to make myself feel better and have my kid in bed with me.”

          I think it’s creepy.

          And what does the non-offending spouse think about this?

          • kalaratri says:

            Judgmental much? (No, I don’t co-sleep and don’t care if other moms co-sleep or not)

            • wonderkitty now has two dogs says:

              I honestly don’t see how it’s healthy to “co-sleep” with a 7-year-old. Or a 3-year-old. I don’t care about the parents and whatever life they want, but it’s damaging to the kids. These are the kids who can’t go to sleepovers because they have honestly never slept alone in their short little lives. There is not one instance that it is okay. If, for whatever medical/necessary reason the kid needs to be close, have them in the same room on a different bed/crib.

              My SIL’s toddler sleeps with her when her father is away, which is a lot due to his job. When he’s home, she sleeps fine in her own room. Something like this sounds pretty normal. So I do know there is a scale of kid-normal stuff.

              • EarthAngel says:

                source, please?

              • hoi-polloi says:

                Your terminology is a bit off. Co-sleeping is generally used to describe sleeping with your child in close proximity. They could be in a crib, a side-car, etc. Bed-sharing is when your child shares the bed with you. My wife and I did both with our son, and I’d do so again. My son breastfed, and it’s simply easier to get him from the co-sleeper, nurse him, and put him back down. I have to imagine it’s a hell of a lot easier than running down a hallway with sleep in your eyes after a crying baby wakes you up.

                As he grew, he went from sleeping in the co-sleeper, sleeping between us, and moving to a toddler bed adjacent to our bed. It was easy for him to seek comfort or nurse when he wanted to. When he was around three, he moved into his own room. He frequently gets a drink of water by himself and settles back down, but it’s not uncommon for him to wake up in the night and ask for my wife or me to come lie with him. What do you do when your kid has a bad dream or wakes up?

                Co-sleeping doesn’t make kids bratty. Indulging their every desire and not correcting them makes them bratty. Sleeping in a bed with your kids doesn’t make them co-dependent. Not letting them explore, make mistakes, and arrive at their own conclusions makes them co-dependent. I think co-sleeping and/or bed-sharing for some period of time is perfectly normal and relatively common in the bulk of the world. Of course, YMMV.

                I think it’s up to parents to determine what works for them and their families. My parenting style is quite different from that of my brother and his wife or from some of my friends. What works for us may not be good for you. Being reactionary against co-sleeping isn’t really all that different from the judgmental mom presented above. Oh, the ironing.

            • wonderkitty now has two dogs says:

              There is absolutely no reason for a parent to choose to hinder their child by co-sleeping. Now, there are situations where it happens… the death/extended absence of a parent, for instance. My SIL’s 3-year-old sleeps with her when the dad is away for more than a few days, but she otherwise sleeps fine when he’s home.

              But putting your kid to bed with you when they are 3, 4, 7 years old damages the kid. I could care less about the parent’s life, but these are the kids who can’t sleep alone, even at someone else’s house. Other parenting things- not so judgmental. This is a safety issue, and a psychological one. The parents only do it to make themselves feel better/lives easier. They certainly don’t do it for the kid’s benefit. Even breastfeeding, you can keep the baby near in the same room, but not in the same bed. But after that, kids need to sleep in their own rooms if they have one.

      • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

        That comment is sadly what is going through their mind, and exactly why my point is valid.

        • knoxblox says:

          Naw, they really shouldn’t…because it’ll make their kids masturbate and practice witchcraft while on drugs when they get older.

  2. Alvis says:

    Well sure, no one wants an inorganic C-section. Robots shouldn’t be giving birth anyways!

  3. YouDidWhatNow? says:

    “doesn’t vaccinate her kids so they don’t get autism”

    I wasn’t aware that being catastrophically stupid and needlessly risking horrible pain, suffering, and death for your children was an admirable trait…

    • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

      Mompeting is not an admirable trait. It takes good intentions to the brink of insanity.

    • danmac says:

      The autism comment is in regards to a group of women who believe that autism is caused by vaccinations. Jenny McCarthy, who blames her son’s autism on his vaccinations, even though there is little medical evidence that supports that theory, is the group’s most famous spokesperson. She’s more famous for posing in Playboy and lowbrow fart joke “humor” than her scientific exploits, and as such, her opinion should be taken with a grain of salt.

      • chaesar says:

        She is what happens when a mompetitor has to face an unavoidable truth about their kid. Instead of going “oh the chances are slim but things like this happen once in a while” the insane, denial part of her brain took over and said “my child should have come out perfect, I did everything I was supposed to, there has to be something to hang the blame on, I will cement myself to the first semi-plausible idea I find”

      • YouDidWhatNow? says:

        http://www.jennymccarthybodycount.com/

        Yes. She is an utter loon – but unfortunately being utterly stupid and unscientific can be pretty popular.

        • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

          Not sure if you know the backstory, but reserach WAs done at one point that showed a POSSIBLe link to vaccinations and autism, but more research was needed. Unfortunately that myth got spread like wildfire and people who believe it simply got told by someone they trust through a vicious telephone game, including from medical professionals. Only recently has new research been conducted that puts that myth to rest.

          It’s a sad piece of misinformation.

          • YouDidWhatNow? says:

            No, no research was done as you describe. No research has ever shown any link, at all.

            There was a certain Dr. Wakefield, who fabricated a set of falsified study results that showed such a link. He has been stripped of his doctorness and is a shining example of just exactly how badly a human being can behave. Just like Jenny McCarthy.

            • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

              Did you RTFC (comment) I said reseach had been done, and one of the researchers said a POSSIBLE link and that more research was neccesary. Wait, I capitalized POSSIBLE the last time. Can you read?!

              It was a legitimate study, and that was a tiny part of it. The researcher also regretting saying it soon after, since it propogated such a myth. But the comment was still published.

              • Aaron Poehler says:

                “It was a legitimate study”

                No, it wasn’t. Check your sources.

              • YouDidWhatNow? says:

                It’s possible that monkeys might fly out of my butt. It’s a legitimate possibility. See, I said LEGITIMATE and POSSIBLE. That means I’m smart and crafty.

              • Conformist138 says:

                The only “legit” study was a comparison of autism rates compared to the rising number of vaccines. HOWEVER, what that research failed to mention is that previously, Asperger’s and other high-functioning autistic disorders were not classified as autism. So, the numbers went up mostly due to a wider definition of autism itself.

                it’s one of the best examples of “Corrolation != Causation” ever.

      • headhot says:

        “even though there is little medical evidence that supports that theory”

        You mean no evidence. The jerk Dr. in england who theorized this had his license pulled.

        • danmac says:

          You may be right, but when posting on this site, I find myself avoiding words like “none” or “all”. Making generalizations often leads to arguments and counter-arguments that often obscure the original point.

    • qbubbles says:

      Uh, I dont think you read that correctly. They’re saying these women are not admirable, for a myriad of things, one of which being not vaxing.

      RTFA?

      • YouDidWhatNow? says:

        …you don’t effing say.

        I was making fun of the belief that such a thing could be an admirable trait. And directly reminding everyone what a total effing idiot you have to be to not vaccinate your children.

    • headhot says:

      Dont forget risking other people’s children. There was a church in Philly who preached non-vaccination. Because of them, several other children died of easily preventable diseases.

  4. jdmba says:

    Isn’t that all moms. When my wife finds out one of her friends is pregnant, she basically says good bye. 100% of the time they say “oh no, I will be different” and 100% of the time, you never hear from them again. Should she call to see how they are the conversation will last about 10 seconds until they say something like “uh oh – the baby just looked at the wall, I gotta go, ” and it doesn’t get better as the kids grow up.

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      I only have one friend who is a mom and she hasn’t completely disappeared from reality. She actually wants non-mom friends because she doesn’t want her kids to be the topic of discussion all the time, which seems to be the case whenever she’s around other moms.

    • DarthCoven says:

      2 of my friends have recently become moms. I wouldn’t agree with your assessment. While their Facebook statuses now consists mostly of child related updates, we still hang out, vacation together, reminisce about the good old days when we were stupid kids doing things we shouldn’t have, etc. It all depends on the parent and how down to earth they are.

    • ArcanaJ says:

      The only friends I stopped seeing were the ones who didn’t have kids and yet felt free to tell me everything they thought I was doing wrong in raising mine.

      Because there is nothing more infuriating than some idiot with no practical experience preaching some trendy crap (or old wive’s tales) as if it were some kind of one-size-fits-all gospel.

    • kalaratri says:

      To be honest, I have a harder time relating to my non-parent friends now in the same way I drifted from my single friends. We just have very different priorities now.
      They just don’t get that I can’t just leave my kid ‘for a few hours’ whenever I want (gotta pump, find a sitter/co-ordinate with hubby, etc.) and I find myself not wanting to stay out at night because I’ve got to take care of my daughter when she wakes up at 6am. My family now comes first and that means that I may have to leave a multi-player match because it’s time to make dinner or hang up the phone if junior starts to fuss and my husband needs my help. Its just a big old clash of interests.
      I do try to make an effort to not monopolize the conversation with news of whatever kiddo is up to, keep up with my friends lives and get away when I can to have a weekend of geekish fun, but I do find myself gravitating towards other parents over single or childless friends.

  5. Dallas_shopper says:

    These people won’t be friends with me anyway. “Youuuuuuuuuuu haven’t had chiiiiiiiiiiiiildren, youuuuuuuuuuuuu don’t understaaaaaaaaaaaaand how haaaaaaaaaaaaaard it is.”

    No, I don’t understand. What’s more, I don’t care.

    • tbax929 says:

      This. I am so sick of my “friends” who have kids insisting my life is so incomplete without them. I understand there are women who really, really want to be moms, and that’s cool. But they need to understand that there are some of us who really, really don’t.

      Since I’m gay, I get the: “Oh, you should adopt a child”. Really? I don’t want kids of my own, why the hell would I want someone else’s?!?

      • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

        Your life can indeed be complete without kids. I debated whether to have one or not. I had one, but life would have been fine without one as well.

        • Bunnies Attack! says:

          You know, I think it depends though. I *just* had a kid and I think part of the main reason I wanted one was that although I know I will enjoy my life for the foreseeable future, I also know that when I’m in my 60′s I’ll regret not having one and not having some sort of continuity or legacy after I’m gone.

          • tbax929 says:

            Legacies are overated, IMO. Why the hell would I care about my “legacy” when I’m gone?

            Again, I have no problem with people who wants kids. My issue is with people who don’t understand that not all of us do. I like the flexibility that not having dependents affords me. I like taking off for a weekend in Hawaii without worrying about a babysitter. I like going to Happy Hour on Friday nights and staying until the bar closes.

          • sirwired says:

            If you want to leave a legacy behind, take all that money and time you would otherwise be spending on a child, build something magnificent, and leave all your worldly wealth to a worthy cause when you die. THAT is a legacy.

            Some strands of your DNA floating around is something of a hit-or-miss.

            • Bunnies Attack! says:

              I dunno, it depends how much you really think it costs to raise a child that you could use to build something magnificent. Note: the “cost to raise a child” estimates you see that make headlines includes a hundred thousand to buy a bigger house and like 30 thousand to buy a bigger car. The actual cost if you already have those things is something like 50k. I’m not sure what kind of legacy you think 50k will leave compared to potentially giving the world a doctor or lawyer (ok maybe not lawyer) or teacher or some other productive member of civilization that can help hundreds of others.

          • quijote says:

            Everyone leaves a legacy, whether they know it or not.

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        When we get together with a select group of our friends, we update each other on how many times people have asked us when we are having kids. None of us have kids, want kids right now, or want to discuss with parents or other relatives the topic of children. Whenever I’m around relatives, I have to struggle to keep myself from flying into blind rage. I don’t know why people don’t understand that it’s perfectly normal and acceptable for people to not want or like children.

        • SixOfOne says:

          Pie, I sympathize. One of my sisters is in the middle of being that “special snowflake” mom that I so dispise and is always asking me when I’m having kids. In theory, I like my neices, but for about 5 minutes, and then its time for them to get out of my–and Mr Six’s–sight.

        • Fidget says:

          Children make me so uncomfortable unless I know the parents very well…it’s like hanging out with a little id-shadow of a complete stranger, and I have no idea how I’m supposed to respond to some kid trying to put my hair in her mouth on the bus according to hip-mom’s parenting philosophy.
          I’ve been on the fence about having kids just because I’m not comfortable around most of them, but I think it has more to do with being afraid of crazy parents than kids themselves. Plus, my mom tells me other people’s kids drive her up the wall, but it’s easier to hang out with a person whose flaws are probably related to yours.

    • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

      I always hated that when I was kidless. I ALWAYS hated the smug, “Just wait until you have kids, you will change your mind.” Guess what? I had a kid and did not change my mind. I don’t do or think any differently with my kid than I thought I would when I was kidless. My kid is seven. She never slept with us, she drinks Kool-Aid, and I let her ride her bike around the hood unsupervised.

      • Outrun1986 says:

        I really don’t want to have kids, I have my reasons, but in general, I just don’t want them. There are other people like me, some people just don’t want kids. Thankfully, my grandparents and parents think that we don’t live in a world that is good for bringing up kids, so not having them is probably exactly what they wanted me to do!

        Where I live right now if I had kids they would be miserable, our school system is horrible and there aren’t any jobs in this city. Its unlikely the city I live in will recover in fact it will just keep getting worse, so by the time my kids are grown if I decided to have them they will have no choice but to leave. If I am going to raise kids, I would like to raise them in a better environment than what is available here, but I can’t exactly uproot myself because all my family is here and frankly, that’s all I have. Besides I just have absolutely no desire to breed, the thought of my brethren running around is just scary. I like saying that I am responsible for my children by not having them.

        • Michaela says:

          I don’t want kids either. Unfortunately, only my mother and sister are okay with my decision. The rest of the family won’t stop talking to be about that “someday” when I will magically change my mind and have 3 offspring or something crazy like that.

          I am still not sure how my decision will impact my friendships as I get older. I guess I will “miss out” on meeting up with the other parents at soccer games and PTA meetings, but maybe I can find some other people like me.

      • Clyde Barrow says:

        OMG I love you!!!!!!!

  6. rookie says:

    I make moms at home…

  7. Why is this on Consumerist? says:

    If your kids aren’t vaccinated, they’d better stay the hell away from my (hypothetical, so far) children.

  8. qbubbles says:

    My sister in law is like this. I often wanted to smack the bitch… until she started sleeping with people other than her husband/my brother. Now she’s a black sheep and not allowed at family functions! Weee!

    In other news: I solemnly pledge to not be like this with the child who is currently residing in my body.

    • qbubbles says:

      In fact, I’m the first of my friends to have a kid, so really, my options are 1) hang with the people I normally hang with 2) find new creepy, annoying friends or 3) seclude myself in my townhouse and watch Days of Our Lives all day.

      I choose my friends.

      • Spaceman Bill Leah says:

        It’s totally doable. Plus, if your friends are anything like mine they will take total delight in pointing out to random strangers that while you may appear to be a regular 20/30-something schmoe closing down the bar, you are in fact a MOM and that makes it hilarious.

        • qbubbles says:

          The response from my friends has been incredible. I got one asking to be my babysitter while at work, the other demanding weekends to take the kid to the park, another requesting to babysit at any and all requests…

          And we’re only 24-26. Its not like their biological clocks are chiming 11:30…

          • hoi-polloi says:

            Tell your straight guy friends they should pay you to take the kid out in public. I told my wife that should anything ever happen to her, I’m always taking my son to the grocery store dressed as a knight. Easiest intro ever.

  9. chaesar says:

    I have a 16-month old and some of my wife’s friends have babies/toddlers, so I am inadvertantly kept in the loop of who’s walking/talking/eating solid foods at what age. Some of the moms are chill about “doing the best” for their kids, some don’t seem to give a sh*t and a few are crazy mompetitors.

    What I have to wonder is where are the dads in all of this? How much can a reasonable guy take, playing second fiddle to his wife’s pathological need to micro-manage every aspect of their child’s life? How does it affect their sex life? And what kind of kid will emerge from such an orchestrated, competitive childhood?

    • Raanne says:

      don’t assume that the men aren’t as insane about the “right” and “wrong” way to raise a kid…

      • chaesar says:

        Ah damn you exposed my sexism. True that. I don’t know of any dadpetitors but I also dont know that many dads personally.

      • danmac says:

        Of course you’re right, but in a thread that’s about “mompetitors” – specifically a series of videos created by a mom, based upon her interactions with other moms – I don’t think it’s sexist to focus on the female side of the “competitive parenting” equation.

    • danmac says:

      What I have to wonder is where are the dads in all of this?

      They’re at work. Working 12 hours a day serves two important functions: 1) It generates the income necessary to purchase $500 strollers, $2,000 cribs, overpriced organic produce, etc.

      How much can a reasonable guy take, playing second fiddle to his wife’s pathological need to micro-manage every aspect of their child’s life?

      This answer relies on a number of variables, including the potential cost of a divorce, his battered self-esteem, the new freedoms that his invisible status offer him, etc.

      How does it affect their sex life?

      It’s brought her sex life to a halt, but his sex life is just fine.

      And what kind of kid will emerge from such an orchestrated, competitive childhood?

      http://www.dailycal.org/article/8223/officials_identify_apparent_suicide_victim_as_uc_b

      This.

      • Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

        You can’t do a 1) without at least a 2). That’s just lame.

        • danmac says:

          Good point…sorry about that…the 2) was that it gets them away from their neurotic, stress-inducing wives into an environment where their peers may actually respect them.

      • Outrun1986 says:

        Oh this couldn’t be more true, I know plenty of dads who are overworked to the max just so the wife can purchase pricey baby food and accessories.

        It only gets worse when the kids get older too since the kids get more expensive and want more and more expensive things and since other kids have them, the mom wants their kid to have it as well, so they do not look like they are raising a kid who has nothing. Its called keeping up with the joneses. Sometimes I think its harder to tell the moms their kid doesn’t need something, than it is to tell the kid they don’t need it.

      • runswithscissors says:

        I award you 1 million internet points for this.

        You need to write a book about this and it needs to be mandatory reading for all new mothers.

    • Outrun1986 says:

      What you get is a very sheltered kid that doesn’t know how to do anything in the real world, without mommy’s guidance. Another thing that will happen is when the kid goes off to college and gets a taste of the real world they will go crazy and get high and drunk every day, and not do anything else that they should be doing.

      I can’t comment on the other things but it can’t be good for the guys either. I don’t think a man wants to have a wife who does nothing but spend every waking minute on their kid, because this would mean the wife isn’t spending time with the man either, which is obviously bad.

    • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

      I wonder this as well. This is one of my hubby’s favorite tag lines when it comes to mom’s like this. He always figures the guy has no balls. If I weren’t a laid back mom, I can tell you right now that he would have insisted that I were.

      Dads need to stand up against this crap.

    • Disappointed says:

      How does it affect their sex life? Well, I have a feeling that they didn’t really have a sex life. They probably conceived their special little snowflake using In vitro fertilization, which doesn’t require sexual intercourse at all. Or, if they did conceive little Kayleigh or Gunner the “natural” way, they only had sex once a month, when the wife was most fertile.

    • Fidget says:

      Wouldn’t marrying and having kids with this kind of woman indicate that the guy is coming into this with his own issues? I mean, I guess there are people who just magically become psycho-moms, but most of the time you can guess who’s going to be “that mom.” Unless this is what happens when you have kids to try and save a bad marriage…
      If I pulled that with my hypothetically children, I’m pretty sure my boyfriend would feel confident enough (and care enough about the kid) to sit me down for a few reality-checks.

  10. myCatCracksMeUp says:

    Very funny video – I know a few people like the blond mom; fortunately only a few.

  11. econobiker says:

    And these type of mothers go bat-sh*t crazy when the husband wants a divorce.

    http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=20108290370

    “They shared legal custody of the child, but Kathleen Dorsett was the primary residential parent, and they disagreed about whether Moore bought the right size diapers for their daughter and fed her the proper food, according to that paperwork.”

    “Moore also said he voluntarily left the home in October because Kathleen Dorsett interfered with his parenting time, refusing to let him take the child out of the house except for a walk in the stroller.”

    “In legal paperwork, Kathleen Dorsett said that Moore gave their child hot dogs and sauerkraut, and she wrote, “Obviously this is not in her best interest.”

    In response, Moore said he fed their daughter nourishing and healthy meals, including the food her mother sent in a lunch box. He allowed the little girl to have a piece of a hot dog and sauerkraut three times — she ate a third of the hot dog and six strands of sauerkraut, the legal documents said.

    But as part of a consent order, he agreed that until the child turned 3, he would feed her food her mother prepared.”

    • zekebullseye says:

      They also go batshit crazy when the kids start moving out of the house, until they get a tiny yappy dog and treat it like a baby and the whole thing starts again.

    • TheMonkeyKing says:

      What you didn’t post: He’s dead! Police suspect the mother and her father of killing this man.

  12. PunditGuy says:
  13. tbax929 says:

    This rings so true to me. I have friends who were awesome friends – fun to be around and all that. As soon as they had kids, their personality evaporated. You could never find out how they are; it’s all about their kids.

  14. Outrun1986 says:

    These moms are everywhere here, which is one of the reasons I never want to have kids. All the moms here are constantly judging one another and saying that other moms aren’t doing as well at being a mom. Its truly horrible.

    You can’t take your kids to Mcdonalds even if its a special treat that happens only once ever couple months, cause its bad for them, you can’t do this, cause its bad for your kids, you can’t do that, cause its bad for your kids. If you don’t have the latest piece of baby safety gear you are doing it wrong, you should have it. When you go to a restaurant the other moms stare at you as if you should not be there, even though they are there themselves (Same with McDonalds). Your kid makes a sound in public and another mom stares at you as if you are not doing enough to shut your kid up… it just doesn’t end.

    Its really a shame that parenting has come down to this..

    • Rectilinear Propagation says:

      It’s not just these kinds of moms saying this sort of thing though. Everyone is ready to tell a parent that they’re doing it wrong no matter what they’re doing.

      • lettucefactory says:

        EXACTLY. I mean, I get this, “Mompetitors” are awful.

        But as soon as the slightest normal, human, imperfect thing happens with a child, it’s “WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS CHILD’S MOTHER?” Then people wonder why moms stress so much about their role? There is just no fucking way to win.

        Most of us are raising our kids in relative isolation compared to our ancestors. In this economy, you live where the jobs are, even if it’s hundreds of miles from family. Our culutre is still half a step behind in assigning full parenting responsibility (and thus blame) to fathers. People who think our kids are cretins for breathing (never mind crying!) are everywhere. And we’ve either got to spend thousands in daycare to work or stay at home and go fucking crazy. So yeah, it’s going to send some moms off the rails.

        I don’t care if my kid eats a chicken nugget. Do I get valuable social points for being a non-mompetitor? Yaaaay. But if he’s overweight in a couple of years, who is going to get called to the carpet on it? I will be literally shamed for those nuggets. And I know this. It’s enough to make anyone a bitch sometimes.

        • Outrun1986 says:

          If you feed your kids nothing but organic foods and nothing but fruits and vegetables you will still be shamed if they appear to be even slightly overweight in public (sarcasm). You can’t win no matter what you do.

          This stuff drives me crazy and I am not a mom, but it drives me crazy because I have to put up with it when I am out shopping and I am out and about. I have to put up with the glares and snarky comments and “What is wrong with that child’s mother” comments that occur around me. I have to listen to the crazy mom screaming at her kids about food and not to do this and not to do that while I shop in the grocery store. I have to listen to moms complaining that all the rides at the theme park are dangerous when they are at the theme park anyways. I have to listen to moms complain about germs at the restaurant while I am eating at one. I have to watch the commercials on TV that show moms following around their kids with clorox wipes in hand in an attempt to sell products to this type of mom.

          My mom has to listen to it at work as well, she has to put up with the mom who complains the theme park is dangerous but still goes and that the tables at the school are too dirty and that they don’t want to take their kids to a birthday party because there are too many germs…

          It was definitely not like this when my mom was raising me or my grandmother was raising her children… a completely different world in which to have children.

      • Erik Hughes says:

        Yep. There’s even a bit of a backlash starting. See http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

    • Clyde Barrow says:

      IMO, best thing to do with you new baby is to set ‘em out in the yard to play in the dirt. Let ‘em run around like kids have done for thousands of years and get dirty and filthy. I think that is healthy for kids to act this way. In fact, let ‘em eat dirt, clay, and play-do. Let ‘em walk in dog poop and pick up gum off a sidewalk and eat it. Let ‘em pick his nose and eat it too. Let ‘em pick up bugs and squish them between their fingers. I have a niece that loved dirt, bugs, and worms while growing up. Her sister loved to dress up in Sunday church-type outfits and never get dirty. That was funny to see the both of them react to each other. Kids are supposed to be dirty. That’s what makes childhood fun.

  15. TheMonkeyKing says:

    The worst are facebook moms who have to plug every advertising campaign or product placement. It’s pretty sad that they think they can score big time with ad revenues.

  16. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    When one of these moms states how terrible it is that you aren’t feeding your kid all organic foods, the following will shut them up:

    “Your parents fed you with non-organic, over-processed, butter-laden foods and you turned out just fine…. wait, maybe you DO have a point!”

    Then walk away.

  17. Destron says:

    Meh…. these kids will grow up and die a horrible agonizing death from something simple because they were kept in such a sterile environment growing up. I hear chicken pocks at 28 years old is horrible and the measles can kill you as an adult.

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      To be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever had chicken pox and it’s not because I was kept in a sterile, quarantined bubble, either. Sometimes kids just don’t get what other kids get.

    • DarthCoven says:

      Let me tell you a true story about immunization. When I was a little bow in New York City in the 1940s, we swam in the Hudson River. And it was filled with raw sewage. Okay? We swam in raw sewage! You know, to cool off.

      At that time the big fear was polio; thousands of kids died from polio every year. But you know somethin’? In my neighborhood no one ever got polio. No one. Ever! You know why? Because we swam in raw sewage! It strengthened our immune systems. The polio never had a prayer; we were tempered in raw shit!

      So, personally, I never take any special precautions against germs. I don’t shy away from people who sneeze and cough, I don’t wipe off the telephone, I don’t cover the toiler seat, and if I drop food on the floor, I pick it up and eat it. Even if I’m at a sidewalk cafe. In Calcutta. The poor section. On New Year’s morning during a soccer riot.

      And you know something? In spite of all that so-called risky behavior, I never get infections. I just don’t get ‘em, folks. I don’t get colds, I don’t get flu, and I don’t get food poisoning. And you know why? Because I have a good, strong immune system, and it gets a lot of practice.

      My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully automatic, military assault rifles with night vision and laser scopes. And we have recently acquired phosphorous grenades, cluster bombs, and anti-personnel fragmentation mines.

      So when my white blood cells are on patrol, reconnoitering my blood stream, seeking out strangers and other undesirables, if they see any *any* suspicious looking germs of any kind, they don’t fuck around. They whip out the weapons, wax the motherfucker, and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! Directly into my colon! There’s no nonsense. There’s no Miranda warning, there’s none of that 3 strikes and you’re out shit. First offense, BAM! Into the colon you go.

      -George Carlin, RIP

      • Skankingmike says:

        Sigh as funny and over exaggerated as his stand-up was it was always coupled with fragments of truth

        without bacteria you cannot grow a healthy immune-system nor have the proper culture for your colon to process food.

    • Remmy75 says:

      Measles as an adult can make a man sterile too! So the upside is that the male offspring of these nutballs will not be able to reproduce and will die off in a few generations.

    • MW says:

      Or they could be like me and turn out just fine. Granted that might be more because I spent the majority of my childhood covered in mud.

      I nearly died from the first MMR shot, so I was medically exempt and never got another vaccine until I chose to get the Tuberculosis shot before college. Both of my siblings were completely vaccinated, but we all seem to have similar immune systems.

    • sirwired says:

      Well, they have a chicken pox vaccine now too, and it’s now part of the standard childhood package. Chicken pox as a child sets you up for the strong possibility of coming down with shingles when you are much older (and the shingles vaccine doesn’t work nearly as well as the chicken pox one does.)

  18. Verucalise (Est.February2008) says:

    Oh thank you GOD I’m not like that blonde haired bitch. I’ve had plenty people comment on stuff I’ve done with my kids, guilt me for not bathing them EVERY DAY, or giving my 10-1/2 month old milk instead of breastmilk/formula for a year… and to those parents, I give a big F-U. I don’t point out the stupid shit you do with your kids, leave me the hell alone.

    I’d totally get along with this mom ;) She carries my sentiments exactly.

    • Awesome McAwesomeness says:

      My doc said not to bathe kids daily b/c it can cause skin problems. So, there’s another win on your side.

      • qbubbles says:

        Also, recent studies show (blah blah blah) that frequent bathing at an early age can cause asthma.

        • webweazel says:

          To follow this thread, instead of giving a baby a bath, just use a washcloth and a little soap and warm water in a bowl, and give a quick sponge-bath. Give a full bath maybe once a week.To me, I think just keeping the hands & face clean (and the butt area) is more important. The rest of the body just doesn’t need that much washing. The sponge-bathing you can do while cradling the child in your arm or lap, and gives more touching time also, which helps in comforting and calming the child, and you. When the crawling stage arrives, it might take more frequent washing, but until then, how dirty does a baby really get?.

    • Clyde Barrow says:

      Do you really get grief about not bathing your kid everyday? Wow! I’d tell them to F-Off too. Kids are supposed to be dirty. It’s part of childhood to be filthy pigs playing in the dirt.

  19. GreatWhiteNorth says:

    I recall a comment heard years ago that applies to this sort of mom… she rolls her own tampons and kickstarts her personal massage device.

  20. peebozi says:

    talking to moms and dads is pretty annoying. i’m glad someone other than me is mocking them too.

  21. ElizabethD says:

    Can’t watch video at work right now, but during my child-rearing years I cut at least two women from my friend list because of this.

    Puh-leeeez! Your kid is the best, OK? and you are the best mother, I get it! Shut up already.

  22. kalaratri says:

    I don’t know whether I’m just lucky not to have met a mompetitor yet or I just have really laid back friends. Then again, I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks of my parenting skills (or lack thereof)

  23. tbax929 says:

    I wonder if this was inspired by the website, STFU Parents. Love, love, love that site!

  24. stanner says:

    I’m all for trying to do your best for your kids, but many parents have lost sight of the end goal – producing happy, self-sufficient, productive adults. Ones that can function just fine without your help.

  25. Clyde Barrow says:

    Here’s another annoyance; mom’s calling their boy’s “little man”. OMG, I cannot stand it when I hear this. “Come one little man”, “hi little man”, “did you eat little man”, “let’s go little man”, “say hi little man”.

    GGGGRRRRRRRR!

  26. Copper says:

    While I am reading through the comments on this article, my boyfriend is playing Call of Duty online. Someone’s baby is crying somewhere and I can hear it through COD MW2. Oh the injustice.

  27. EarthAngel says:

    OMG! Why are moms so mean to each other?

    The breastfeeding nazis are the meanest. I shouldn’t have to justify why there is a bottle in my child’s mouth and whether or not I pump on a regular basis to supplement the formula. Why is it anybody’s business on why I’m not breastfeeding? Did it ever occur to you that it might be personal? And if I have discussed something with my doctor, it is not up to you (general) to determine whether or not I tried hard enough to breastfeed my child or even if it was medically feasible to try another alternative.