Ryanair Supposedly Not Kidding About Installing Pay Toilets
If the NYT is to be believed, the CEO of Ryanair, one Michael O'Leary, was not kidding when he said that the low cost airline would be installing pay toilets on board their aircraft. In fact, it seems that these hypothetical toilets will be accepting credit cards.
From the NYT:
Michael O'Leary, Ryanair's outspoken chief executive, told The Guardian that the airline plans to ask Boeing to add a credit-card reader to toilet locks and wants to reconfigure its 737-800 jets, adding space for six additional seats by removing two of the three toilets. "We are flying aircraft on an average flight time of one hour around Europe," Mr. O'Leary argued, "what the hell do we need three toilets for?"
Meanwhile, other UK media outlets are reporting that Ryanair is going to get rid of airport check-in desks and will start charging passengers to check-in online. There was also some discussion of making passengers handle their own bags.
Of course, it might all be a bunch of bullsh*t. Previously, O'Leary admitted that the pay toilet scheme was just a PR stunt. Perhaps Mr. O'Leary should charge the newspapers a fee to know if he's kidding or not.
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Comments:
Next thing you know, guys will be hanging onto the coke cans to relive themselves in their seats.
And don't laugh, I actually saw this on a transporter bus ride to the airport. One fellow had been drinking beer all day and just HAD to go, right there into his empty Bud can.
I felt sorry for his girlfriend.
If I could fly from NYC to Orlando florida for 10 bucks, which is as cheap as some RyanAir flights are I will pay for a toilet visit
You know, after the second or third time I used a RyanAir airsickness bag for a non-approved, bowel-clensing purpose, I'll bet the next flight, RyanAir would pay me to use their lavatory.
Removing 3 toilets? 1 toilet for an ENTIRE 737?!
It's nice to see that the same person who planned the customer queuing for Wal-Mart's Black Friday has found gainful employment with RyanAir.
They will probably have a $2 credit card fee.
In the UK, it's not usually against the terms.
They're taking a small but real leap of faith in assuming that every one of their customers would rather shell out a couple bucks than relieve themselves publicly. I'm sure it won't be long before someone is drunk/desperate/pissed off enough to call their bluff.
When you fly a single engine plane between Washington and New York, where's the toilet? I guess you could hang out the window but the people on the ground might be able to read your wing number. For a one hour flight, it probably doesn't matter, unless you're sitting on the runway three hours waiting for your one hour flight.
@H3ion: And that "never" happens, right? I mean, the airline system in this country is the *model* of efficiency, no? /sarcasm
Commode Fees:
Entry fee- $2.00
(First 2 minutes are free, $0.50 per minute afterward)
Bathroom tissue fee- $0.25 per sheet
Waste disposal fee- $1.00 per 250ml or 500ml for $1.75!
Waterless liquid soap fee- $0.20 per 20ml "squirt"
Water- In order to protect our oceans, this plane has replaced water fixtures with biodegradable waterless liquid soap dispensers which eliminate 99.99% of known bacteria.
Please enjoy flushing your money down the toilet!
@Trai_Dep:
Hmm, I don't recall whether RyanAir actually supplies such luxuries as sick bags. You probably have to buy one from the cabin crew.
Yeah.
I'm just trying to picture any given Thursday morning Stansted-Dublin flight (guaranteed to be about 80% full of stag (i.e. bachelor) party groups headed for a super-long weekend of excess and debauchery) not resulting in at least one case of someone just pissing all over the aisle rather than use the toilet.
Aaaand, if they introduced pay toilets, they'd all be at it...
@H3ion:
During a fuel stop, or a wide mouth water bottle. I have my PPL, (not current right now,) but I've done that a few times when flying a 172 or 182.
Ask any pilot or four seater passenger - it's not a big dealer. In front of 100 strangers? hmm not so much
I think pilot shops even sell a female version.
@downwithmonstercable:
Unless the flight is delayed and sits on the tarmac for a few hours. Then again, if drinks aren't free, perhaps there will be lower demand for toilets.
@downwithmonstercable: That could be on the tarmac for 1-2 hours, with a 30-minute embark/disembarking cycle? With a couple hundred passengers?
What could possibly go wrong?
@H3ion: See my comment, above abut ignoring queuing theory. A handful of people behave differently than hundreds. And a 737 has different queuing stats than a single-engine puddle-jumper.
There's quite a bit of science known in these regards. They're simply ignoring it, or counting on it.
"Okay, sir, that's one Ryanair ticket. Would you like pooping, or non-pooping?"
If I really had to go while I was 30,000 feet over Sheffield, I'd pay the $2. But I wouldn't be happy about it.
I used race crew shels, where there was no where to pee before the race, and you weren;t allowed to pee on the race course, after a 1 hr warmup. 9 guys in the boat. We used, and shared, wide mouth bottles (with a dump out, usually, between people). Now to my point. One person's mom bought them this cool thing "pilots use" which was a powder in a trough. Pee in the trough, and the powder expands and becomes hard gel. Voila, no mess, no spill. Wrap it in saran wrap and you're done!
Corrosive pee and aluminum aircraft structure are not a good combo. I know this for a fact.
Do they have a credit card swiping machine on the Wetvac that the stewardesses will be using to mop up after someone pees on the floor? It's going to happen.
If that goes through, you can damn well bet people will be leaving those restrooms in horrible shape as a form of protest; and flight attendants don't clean them.
Well then, I guess I'm supposedly not gonna ever take Ryanair. I think basic bodily necessities OVERRIDE these things. It makes sense on the ground, pay toilets exist in San Francisco and San Jose, when you can find somewhere else to eat and go while you're there, but when it becomes the only option, I think its retarded.
Do you think that when there's a water landing, they'll set up a turnstile at the door before you can side out to the liferaft?
ooh ooh ooh, I know, CHARGE for oxygen as the plane is crashing. "If you require oxygen, please insert your credit card."
ooh ooh ooh, I know, ONCE they're actually IN the toilet after having paid, they have to:
1. Pay to get toilet paper dispensed
2. Pay to wash their hands.
and the MOST brillant part:
3. PAY to get out of the toilet or else if they don't after they wash their hands (that is IF they wash their hands, those cheap bastards who won't pay up), the toilet opens up under them and they are ejected from the plane for being unwilling to listen to FAA toilet guidelines.
I say we all bring our own bottles of snapple and leave them behind filled with pee.
Does Ryan Air sell food on board their aircraft? Including chilled beverages? If so, they can't come to America with their pay toilets.
@Trai_Dep: 1. Do you have a source for the seat capacity of RyanAir's planes?
2. Would that many people have to go to the bathroom at the same time?
I just took a stroll through the RyanAir tag, and it was rewarding.
The article also mentions RyanAir supposedly plans to eliminate their check-in counters, and also intends to fire baggage handlers in favor of having passengers load their own bags onto the aircraft.
If this doesn't bury the needle on your BS meter, I don't know what would!
@Employees Must Wash Hands: I wonder if they're planning on making all passengers stick their arms out the windows and start flapping?
@geoffhazel: I'd like to see how a case of this would stand up in court. Hypothetically:
Defendant: "Your honor, I don't have a credit card and there was no other way to pay for the toilet - no coins, and they didn't have the decency to open it when I asked. What was I supposed to do, soil my pants? The last row was empty and the floor seemed the most logical place."
Judge: "Ryanair, you are idiots."
When people are captive in a situation, they should be accomodated. This is really no different than a workplace or a construction site that doesn't offer facilities to its employees and then docks them pay for leaving to relieve themselves.
I would be happy to pay for toilet use if it lowers the cost of my flight. Honestly I don't even think I've used the toilet in an aircraft before.
@f86sabre:
My google-fu is currently weak, but I remember reading a story that Canada had to change the main beams on some of there C-130 aircraft b/c the toilets on board did not have a top. Urine from hundreds of users vented up and partially melted the aluminum beams. Cost a pretty penny too.
Of course this story could be completely bullshit. I flew on an American C130 and the bathroom up front was just a urinal with a curtain around it (there was a sit-down toilet at the back of the plane), and I never heard of the DoD having to replace structural members because of it.
@downwithmonstercable: all you need is 2 people with diarrhea and one toilet for the entire flight to be a nightmare for everyone
@jamesdenver: camping and travel stores also.
the 'freshette' is billed as a reusable item [www.walkabouttravelgear.com]
and the 'urinelle' is a disposable paper one
[www.magellans.com]
@Mint137: pay toilets in continental europe are the norm, in my experience. not sure about ireland, never having been
How about I just learn how to fly and buy my own plane ?