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Papa John's Love (Pizza) Is A Lie

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As is custom for Valentine's Day, many businesses are offering heart-shaped merchandise. Papa John's Pizza is offering a such a themed pizza. But, as is often the case, reality can be strikingly different than advertising. Come inside to see what the pizza actually looks like.



Now, I am no biologist, but that does not seem heart-shaped to me. It looks like a moon just on the beginning of the cycle, or a cuddly, passive-aggressive demon. What about you, readers? What does the Papa John's FailPizza look like to you, and what oddly themed holiday is it really celebrating? Leave your best below.

[Thanks, Ryan!]

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Comments:

145
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It looks like a pizza... missing most of a slice. Maybe this would be a good match for the Heineken holiday 5 pack?

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Looks to me like they found a way to charge more (or the same) for actually giving you LESS pizza, aesthetics be damned!

Ugly & clever at the same time.

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It looks like the imprint your ass will leave in a seat after you eat the entire pizza.

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That is a depressing Valentine's Day gift.

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Maybe they ran out of the pizza shaped crusts and they decided to just trim out a small semi circle from a regular pizza. Either way, I wouldn't be happy...

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@HungryMohican: Organizations always need a strategy to raise their prices.

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Harp! They said Harp, not heart. It's a lyre.

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@HungryMohican: Hey, it costs money to purposely deform a pizza. It ain't easy!

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Honey! Look what I got for our valentine's dinner!

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Pretty smart way for Papa John's to jip you out of a fraction of your pizza for more money!

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Looks like a lazy pizza guy. Obviously its just a regular pizza with the corner pressed in.


Pizza fail ftl =(


Charge twice as much for a dented pizza.

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Does anyone else find it odd that the offer is for two fairly large pizzas?

Doesn't that seem counter-intuitive for V-day?

Unless... ew...

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So what's in Nirvana's "heart shaped box" is a... pizza?

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That's the Hello Kitty pizza! They must have switched up the mold.

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It looks like Papa John ate one of the slices.


This should probably be a "shrink-ray" story.

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I think you'd be better off buying a normal pizza and cutting it into the shape of a heart.


Really, since it looks like they're folding the dough directly, I think results are going to vary based on the people making the pizza at the individual papa johns.

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It's Papa John Schnatter's ugly, misshapen, accidentally delivered, still-beating heart.

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Looks like the deliveryperson helped themselves to a piece on the way over

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As much as the pizza does not look like a heart.... Papa John's pizza sounds soooooo good right now.

Damn you Consumerist for encouraging my growling stomach!

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Hmmm lets see? You order a stupid heart shaped pizza and then "piss and moan" because you got shorted? Anyone that orders this type of crap and complains should be kicked right in the groin!!

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I ALMOST ordered this the other night. We were going to eat pizza anyways, and I thought it might be a nice gesture. Glad we picked up the frozen DiGiorno focaccia bread pizza instead.

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It's almost like the St Valentine hates money to be well spent on his holiday, so he makes EVERYTHING on V-day a waste of cash.

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It's shaped like Ohio, "the HEART of it all."


And darn, I was going to get one of these for lunch today.

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if the pan isn't heart shaped, or there isn't a mold, then it's going to be up to the artistic interpretation of a heart by the pizza folk.

Maybe this particular pizza maker was going for the more literal interpretation of the human heart to evoke emotions of confusion and anger.

who orders pizza for valentine's day?

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@Trae:

Yeah but the responsibility ultimately lies with papa johns to train their employees correctly on how to make it.

Even more basic than that is the manager of the store knowing he doesn't have a skilled enough crew to handle making the pizza and still offering it, and sending out pizzas that look like that.

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@TheKeg: Meant to say that it also looks like an obese pacman.

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I am a Papa John's veteran. Although I can't say for sure, my gut feeling on this is that the normal Valentines day heart shaped pizza is a pre-punched thin crust, and it looks like they ran out of them and somebody did a poor job making a substitute.


I'd like to get an opinion from a current Papa John's employee...

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@Kavatar:

Not only are they selling you less of a pizza, the pepperoni count is much lower. Look at the advertisement, the pepperonis are almost touching. Reality, not so much.

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@TheKeg: IF you want to do a nice gesture that costs 20 bucks how about take her out to white castle on V-day, get the candle on the table, etc. I can never make the pizza/romance connection personally.

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Maybe the heat from the oven caused "unloving" odd shaped pizza?@opensight:

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@JeffM: I know, I hate double dates too.

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Looks like a huge-mouthed dude took a bite out of it. Either way, FAIL. Papa John's for the loss, they were dead to me after they fixed the "2 specialty for $15" trick. What a lotta Pizza, Little Caesars hot-n-ready deep dish w/ crazy bread, 3 Pizza hut pizzas for $15, Lampost "Best of Seven" at the Irvine location...all FTW.

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@nataku83: On further inspection I agree. I was originally going to say it looked more like an anatomical heart than a romantic one.

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@blockbustarhymes: I would. Or least, I hope my significant other would order pizza for me.

I know it sounds terrible, but pizza is my favorite comfort food. Makes for a good night staying in eating yummy pizza, cuddling, and watching a nice movie in bed.

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It looks Hello Kitty! They just need to rearrange the toppings to make her face.


Or, like you said, a moon. Maybe they should consider marketing more to the Neopagan demographic.

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The only way one can express love with Papa Johns is thus a FULL SIZE ROUND PIZZA WITH EXTRA GARLIC SAUCE.

They will gasp out 'I NOM NOM NOM LOVE NOM NOM NOM ..." etc, etc.

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I'm much less bothered by the shape than by the shocking discrepancy in pepperoni coverage.

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yes, it's the shape of your ass as you eat both pizzas alone this saturday night.

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@JeffM: How do you mean? (I'm serious, I can't figure out what you're driving at.)

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A few years ago we had heart shaped pizza from Boston's and it was heart shaped but someone thought it would be keen to put cinnamon in the crust, yuck. Yesterday when we were at papa's we decided to get a heart shaped pizza. It looked more like the advertisement picture than what the OP has shown us. It was tasty in its greasy sort of way.