A stalking victim that has found she has little legal recourse against her harasser due to North Carolina’s weak laws is angry at Walmart for selling a T-shirt that makes light of stalking.
The t-shirt reads: “Some call it stalking, I call it ‘love’.”
The Raleigh News&Observer says:
For the past two years, this woman has been stalked until she feels like a prisoner in her own life. She has been spied upon, bullied and threatened with her life.
She has been in frequent communication with local authorities. Yet, because North Carolina has one of the most vague stalking laws in the nation (a bill is wending its way through the legislature to address that), her recourse has been limited.
So when she saw the T-shirts, clearly aimed for the teen-younger adult set, she didn’t see the humor.
“It’s reprehensible,” said the woman, whose story is well documented but who asked not to be identified for fear that her stalker might retaliate.
“People don’t realize how serious stalking is,” she said. “You constantly live in fear, look over your shoulder and suffer from psychological and physical symptoms due to the stress of the stalker.”
She wondered aloud: What’s next?“Some say it’s rape, I call it hot sex”? Or: “Some call it domestic violence, I say I’m just teaching her a lesson”?
Wow, that’s depressing. We feel really bad for this woman and hope North Carolina’s government wakes up and realizes that stalking is a crime…
…Then again, she should remember that she’s complaining about a t-shirt sold by an organization that was subject to an FBI investigation for (allegedly) wiretapping reporters. Now we understand. It was just love.
T-shirt isn’t funny to stalking victims [Raleigh News & Observer] (Thanks, David!)
(Photo:Raleigh News & Observer)
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@royal72:
Can you elaborate?
@Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: That’s your opinion. Moderating is about removing material offensive to everyone, not just you. Kinda like walmart t-shirts. Everybody hates nazis (except maybe nazis). But people other than stalkers find this t-shirt amusing. As such, it should be up to the market to decide. Not every person who dislikes the message.
@Televiper: References please.
@thepounder: Now that I can agree with. The walmart t-shirts are often right on the edge, which is an interesting contrast with the otherwise nanny-style management. Consistency would be nice.
I think that the woman may be doing this for two reasons: one, to draw attention to the weak stalking laws in her state, and two, because she’s genuinely living in hell and this doesn’t help.
While I agree with the comments about free speech, there is a difference between what the law allows you to do and what the whole “do unto others” thing suggests you do. If you knew this woman, would you wear the shirt when you were going to hang out with her? I guess it is situational.
@royal72: Her action of trying to get this guy to stop stalking her or her action of complaining to Wal-mart about the t-shirt?
But people other than stalkers find this t-shirt amusing.
@EtherealStrife: Acambras was refering to the people saying she should “get over” being stalked, not the t-shirt. See Cheve‘s post. It’s one thing to say someone should get over a t-shirt, it’s another to say this woman should just live with being stalked.
@EtherealStrife:
I’ve gotten quite a few flagged comment reports about this thread. Believe me — I’m not the only one who finds the shirt and many of the comments on this thread offensive.
In my prsonal experience, I try to get my shopping done in as little time as I can so that I can have more time to enjoy activities with friends and family. I can’t imagine spending more than 10 seconds being offended by a T-Shirt at a store. Life is too short to be wasted on small offenses like these. It’s none of my business how this store sells products. If I don’t like it, I won’t buy it. If a product doesn’t sell, it will probably not be manufactured in large quantities or restocked. Kind of common sense stuff.
I’ll save my indignation for other more important things.
Like commenting on silly issues on the internet.
@mrsultana: How you say… +1?
@Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: “Can you elaborate?”
yes the stalking is terrible and more so, that she can’t seem to get the help from the authorities that she needs
but trying to get rid of a crappy shirt for being in bad taste, just like the nazi one, is ridiculous and subjectable… let me put it this way, if i see someone wearing that shirt, i’m staying the fuck away from them and mentally thanking them for the visual warning me.
@royal72:
So when you say people’s comments are the equal but opposite reaction to her reaction, I’m still not sure what you mean.
I understand that whether or not one is offended by the shirts is a bit subjective — indeed, people who’ve been stalked or seen loved ones stalked probably don’t think the shirt is funny.
She spoke out to WalMart about the shirt because it made a joke out of a serious issue, but it seems like a lot of the commenters on the thread have a problem with that (telling her to “get over it,” for example). Does she not have the right to be offended and speak up on the matter? It’s almost like some commenters find her speaking out on the matter *offensive*. Is that what you mean by equal but opposite reaction?
@sciencegeek: Yeah, it’s a pretty brilliant PR move on her part. Nobody’s going to do a report on a woman who’s complaining about insufficient police response to a dangerous person, but a woman complaining about WalMart — that’s ratings gold.
Which is really, really sad, when you think about it.
Acambras, THANK YOU.
This is barely even a consumer issue– this is a wider issue in our
culture, where a woman who is being stalked by a psycho is now being
mocked on a message board by people who refuse to accept that her
problem is pandemic in this country, and the shirt is just an extension
of that culture. It’s disappointing to see how many people here would
rather ignore the really ugly implications of this story.
@Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: dear acambras, i’m having a very hard time with your avatar. you see, my parents and i were at the zoo when i was a child and somehow the lion had gotten out his cage. to make a long and uncomfortable story short, my dad had just enough time to help push me over a fence, as i watched the lion’s teeth sink into his flesh. i watched my parents be mauled to death, before anyone could help…
so as you can see, cats in general are a subject i’m not comfortable with and a great many other people feel the same way. so i would greatly appreciate it, if you would remove your avatar.
royal72
@Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: She spoke out to WalMart about the shirt because it made a joke out of a serious issue
… that’s a matter of perspective and/or taste and up to the indivual.
but it seems like a lot of the commenters on the thread have a problem with that (telling her to “get over it,” for example). Does she not have the right to be offended and speak up on the matter?
…of course and that’s the whole point.
It’s almost like some commenters find her speaking out on the matter *offensive*. Is that what you mean by equal but opposite reaction?
…bingo. just as she has the right to speak her mind about being offended, so does everyone else.
what’s more important to me, is to change why everyone is so pissed and offended by everything? most people are so busy complaining about anything and everything, that the “pursuit of happiness” has long come and gone for them.
@royal72:
There’s nothing wrong with her icon! You are a whiny entitled baby! So your parents were mauled to death, you should get over it!
^equal and opposite reaction.
Did I get that right?
@Rectilinear Propagation: lmao
@royal72:
[en.wikipedia.org]
@Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: touche
I can see it now…one day, a hundred years from now, making light of anything will be punishable by death. Even if you laugh at your own misfortunes! DEATH! Your friend squirted milk out his nose and you giggled. DEATH! I once had a moose who squirted milk from his nose and he ended up with a serious infection! SRSLY BUSINESS!
Seriously though, sucks for the woman getting stalked, but everyone makes fun of stalkers. I mean, child molesting is awful, but seeing an old rusty van with a sign saying ‘free candy’ still makes me laugh.
very bad by wal-mart.
and a “shame on you” to those saying she should just get over it. most of the time serious stalking leads to attacks and rape; what is so wrong about her trying to get the message out that this is much more serious that people think?
oh and i have to agree with what someone said earlier…why does everyone seem so offended that she’s standing up for something she believes in?
@royal72:
@perfectly_cromulent:
why does everyone seem so offended that she’s standing up for something she believes in?
Yep, that seems to be the million-dollar question on this thread.
First off, stalking does not have to happen when someone is crossing state lines, the definition of stalking is:Stalking a legal term for repeated harassment or other forms of invasion of a person’s privacy in a manner that causes fear to its target.
Statutes vary between jurisdiction but may include such acts as:
repeated physical following
unwanted contact (by letter or other means of communication)
observing a person’s actions closely for an extended period of time
contacting family members, friends, or associates inappropriately
Stalking can also include seeking and obtaining the person’s personal information in order to contact them; e.g. looking for their details on computers, electoral rolls, personal files and other material with the person’s personal details without their consent. Personal details include their date of birth, marital status, home address, email address, telephone number (landline and mobile), where they work, or which school, college or university they go to; and personal information on their family and friends and any other sensitive and confidential information (e.g. medical conditions and disabilities etc.)
This woman is probably going thru hell with her stalking and to go in to a store and have a shirt make light of it, as well as a state that does not have substantial laws backing her does not help.
I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion, but they should also be educated in what they are discussing.