Toilet paper is cheap, plus and plentiful. hen my grandfather was in World War 2, toilet paper was a luxury. Each soldier was given 5 squares per day, and it wasn’t the vellum-like angel skin toilet paper we have today… it was discarded scraps of the sandpaper used to scrape rust off of the tanks. My grandfather’s greatest war story? It’s not the time he helped liberate a concentration camp, nor the time we watched General MacArthur beat the crap out of one of his senior aides. It’s the time he survived an attack of dysentery with a single square of toilet paper.
So he’d sneer at us gorram pansies for having the gall to complain that Scott Toilet Paper rolls have recently lost 300 inches from every roll: each square of paper has been downsized by 0.3 inches. But perhaps we can put it into context for gramps when we say that toilet paper used to be 4.5 inches per roll, before companies like Scott started downsizing the acreage we get for cleaning our asses. We’ve lost 800 inches from every roll over the last couple decades. And isn’t preserving the American dream of plentiful toilet paper what we fought the Nazis about in the end, anyway?
Scott Toilet Paper: Still 1000 Sheets [Mouseprint]