American Apparel FlipFlops, Flapped

We’ve obviously taken this American Apparel flipflop thing too far. Jumped the shark, and all that. So why not do another shot while writhing on the floor? Render the blackout a deeper shade of obsidian?

Here’s the actual source email proclaiming the removal of sweatshop flipflops (perhaps, well, they’re made in Thailand, which is definitely not vertically-integrated L.A.) from the stores’ floors.

    “Dear All,

    We bought only a few hundred of the flip flops to try out and see if our customer is interested in them at all. I think the “test” was somewhat misread as a weird move into outsourcing, which is not the case. To end all confusion, please: REMOVE THE FLIP FLOPS FROM THE FLOOR AND GIVE THEM AWAY FREE TO ANYONE WHO WANTS THEM. We are currently developing our own Made in Downtown LA flip flop that will be much cooler and less stinky! However, we’ll have to wait until next Spring for those.
    Sorry for the misunderstanding. Please explain this to your staff and customers as well, if they are concerned.

    And….thank you for your feedback! It’s very important.

    Iris”

Is this the same Iris who professed a joy of dildos and reading The Collapse of the Common Good: How America’s Lawsuit Culture Undermines our Freedom?

Probably.

Comments

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  1. ModerateSnark says:

    Cool. You got to post a time-travel link to a past version of yourself.

    You spunker, you.

  2. Iris says:

    Oh, man…I hope that dumbass ad wsn’t in anything important. It’s bad enough to have people call you “Daffodil” and think they’re funny, but an American Apparel spot with my name on it? Shit. What good is it to have a weird old lady name if it ends up being misused in such a fashion? Now don’t get me wrong, this Iris loves her some sex toys, but AA is just plain dumb. And boring. And chock-full of hipster shitheads with dirty hair and dead eyes. Dammit!

  3. To the other Iris, the one just above my comment: oh please. You couldn’t hold a candle to the Iris in the ad. Do I sense a hint of jealousy?

  4. Iris says:

    Are you retarded? It’s called humor. Tinged with some sarcasm. Wacky concept, I know. Have you never read another Gawker site in your life? And yes, your co-worker friend is very attractive. Congratulations. Where should I send the fucking medal?

  5. Oh, you were being funny when you called me and my friends hipster shitheads with dirty hair and dead eyes, and plain dumb, I get it! Sense of humor is a sign of intelligence, so maybe you are right. Anyway, please send the medal to:

    Weronika Cwir
    American Apparel
    747 Warehouse Str.
    5th Floor
    Los Angeles, CA, 90021

    I’ll give it to Iris when she’s comes from Mexico. BTW, I didn’t mean that Iris is just attractive, she is a smart and prolific designer and businesswoman.